Black Friday may not save you green!

The day after Thanksgiving is the kickoff of the holiday shopping season, but that doesn't mean it's the best time of year to shop. I read last year that statistically speaking, the weekend before Christmas offers the best all around deals. I know that it’s hard to ignore the hullaballoo that surrounds Black Friday, but is it really worth the effort?

If you’re in the market for a plasma TV or a laptop computer, you can find some great deals by heading to the stores before dawn, but does the average consumer really have these big ticket items on their lists? I, for one, don’t. So this year I scanned the deals in the papers, but did most of my shopping online. Here’s what I found.

I got the same deal plus free shipping by doing my shopping on the web. In fact, I went out for a couple of hours on Friday to see what the fuss was about, but instead of getting the deal of the century, I only got a headache. I found that most stores only allow a small handful of people actual get the door buster prices. So even if you were in line at 5 a.m., you still may leave empty handed. At Joe’s Sporting goods for example, they had a GPS unit that was $150 dollars off. But if you weren’t one of eight people with the magic ticket, you had to keep shopping. Oddly enough, that was the only GPS unit on sale in the store. So all of those people who didn’t score the big deal ended up buying full price gear purely because they were amidst the shopping frenzy. I, however, went home and bought a unit online that was $60 cheaper than it was in the store.

At Toys R Us I found that a lot of toys were on sale, but none of the ones I was looking for. Best Buy offered a handful of deals, but nothing I couldn’t get online. And Target had just as many deals on Saturday as they did on Friday. All of this added up for a whole lot of wasted hype for me.

It's funny how excited people get at the idea of spending money when in fact there is a really good chance they are paying full price for most of their items. Of course, maybe I just need to be added more big ticket items to my shopping list.

Happy Thanksgiving Y'all!

It's hard to buy into this guy completely. But watch this video anyways. Don't stop it after two minutes and be like "whatever, he doesn't know me." Watch the whole damn thing because truth be told, he hits the nail on the head. If you're not willing to sacrifice for it, then you don't really want it...Or you just want something else a little more.

It's not about getting rich. It's about having the drive within yourself to make a change in your life. If nothing else, he bring a lot of passion to the table, which is a good start for anybody.

Does this dance make me look too feminine?

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Rates of new cancer diagnoses have fallen for the first time ever. Yeah! But lung cancer diagnoses actually increased in 18 states. Boo. Smoking is bad!

Electric Baby

I like working on my house, but recently, the outlets in my kitchen went out. I replaced the GFIs and that didn't work. Now I'm moving on to the breaker box. This scares me a little. I'm not a fan of poking and prodding around large electrical sources. Perhaps the time I shocked myself through a bad outlet has stuck with me more than I thought. Or maybe it was that time I got tangled up in that electric fence. Although, it could also be all of those times I shocked myself with my wife's stun gun to make sure it would stop an attacker. Regardless, as much as I enjoy working on my house, I prefer leaving electricity to the professionals. Keep your finger's crossed for me.

That’s what drives me nuts!

I can’t stand it when people are waiting at a red light and they leave 20-30 feet between them and the car in front of them. This is so ridiculous. When you’re stopped at a light, there’s no reason why you can’t be right up on the car in front of you. Traffic gets backed up in cities not because there are too many cars on the road, but because people are inefficient drivers.

I was trying to cross traffic at a busy intersection the other day when I was confronted with this problem. Because the parking lot I was in was right next to a light, I didn’t have a large window to cross traffic. The lane I was going into had a red light, so I waited for one more car to pass in front of me before I pulled into the lane. I was halfway across the yellow line when the Jack Ass in front of me stopped at the red light – with 20 feet between her car and the car in front of her. I pulled up as far as I could behind her, but I was still sticking halfway out into oncoming traffic.

I thought the lady would (a) notice I was two inches from her bumper and move up, or at least (b) notice the car behind her had no place to go and needed her to move up. Instead, she just sat there oblivious. As oncoming traffic got closer I had to honk at her to get her attention. She just looked at me like I was out of my mind. Finally, I had to use hand signals to literally tell her to move up, so I wouldn’t get hit by a car. She finally did, but acted inconvenienced the whole time.

Well excuse me, lady. My bad for thinking you know how to drive. I’m so sorry you had to actually utilize that extra 20 feet in front of you, so I wouldn’t block traffic. I didn’t realize your personal bubble extended beyond your car. And you don’t’ even drive a nice car. It’s not like you need to protect that piece of crap from a fender bender. I’m not one to get road rage, but this was ridiculous.

I’m Not a Crook!

My wife found out yesterday that my 19-month-old daughter is a crook. Yes, it’s true. I’ve raised a felon.

My wife was on one of her many trips to Target with the kiddo to pick up a number of things yesterday when the incident took place. With Sophia locked down in the stroller, my wife perused the aisles. She checked out and made her way to car just as Sophia started to get fussy. By the time Malinda buckled Sophia into her car seat, she was in full cranky mode. Malinda grabbed the blanket from the stroller and handed it to Sophia only to realize that Sophia was already holding her blanket. Yup, my daughter lifted a brand new blanket from Target right under my wife’s nose.

Here’s the kicker. Because Malinda was just as tired and cranky as the kid, she kept the blanket! That makes my wife an accessory to corporate theft. And I thought I knew her after all of these years. At least I’m not a crook.

Ripped Off!

Hugh Jackman is the sexiest man alive! I was that close. Man, maybe next year.

Pube Free Please

Why do most urinals in the men’s room have at least one stray pubic hair resting precariously by the flusher? Furthermore, how does the damn thing get there? You would have to be taking care of your business pretty aggressively to break free enough pubes so that one makes its way to the top of the flusher. And since your hand is already flushing, you might as well brush the thing away instead of leaving it there for the world to see. So to all of you male urinary participants, let’s work on making our public restrooms precariously-resting pube free.

Twilight?

My wife just bought this book and read it in about four days - the whole time raving about how amazing it was. I’m half tempted to NOT read it at all only because she freaked out so much. Heroin addicts scoring a free lifetime supply of smack would have a more subdued reaction than my wife had. Seriously, can it really be that good, or is it simply a chick novel?

Does your friend have a sister?

The Mayor of an Australian city publically asked more women to move to his town because the male to female ratio was 5 to 1. The oddity is that he asked for slightly homely women to make the move stating that it would be a good opportunity for them.

First of all, if you’re ugly, do you really look in the mirror and say “yup, he’s talking about me. I can’t do any better because I’m hideous.” I mean really. Can you imagine moving to a town solely with the idea of getting a date? There’s got to be a better way. Secondly, what if you move to that town and all of the dudes are chumps? That’s a whole lot of work for nothing. And finally, what happens if you are ugly and you move to a town where the odds are hugely in your favor, but you still get turned down. That would hurt anybody’s feelers.

I’d say if you’re going to go out on limb and call for ladies to come your way, you might as well aim high. Ask for hotties. What do you have to lose?

Fantasy Football...

Sucks! I rack up the points every week and still lose because the only other player to score more than me just so happens to be my opponent for the week. I'm exhausted from complaining about it. But just when I ready to move on, Sunday rolls around and the same thing happens. I don't know why I torture myself with all of this failure.

Las Vegas

So the wife and I are in Vegas. That was the surprise vacation she had been planning for the last couple of weeks. I have to admit that it’s been fun, but I wasn’t very surprised. I figured it out a little while ago. You can call me genius, but I prefer the mentalist. What’s even more impressive is that I also figured out that we were going to see a Jason Mraz concert as well.

I wasn’t trying to ruin any surprises. In fact, I didn’t even do any snooping. I just put together a couple of subtle clues and BAM, there is the answer. The funniest part about it is that I actually surprised my wife with a new wedding ring once we got here. And she wasn’t expecting anything. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. I would be happier about the whole wedding ring thing, but I had to buy her a new one because she lost the first one, which kind of sucks.

Oh well. Regardless, my eight and half month pregnant wife and I are going to hit the town. We may not be the most scandalous couple in town, but we’re still having a good time.

A Mystery

My wife is taking me on a mystery vacation this weekend. She refuses to give me any details because she wants it to be a surprise. I hate surprises, but I love vacations. I guess that means I don’t really know how to feel about the whole thing. I was able to trick her into revealing that the trip involves an estimated 2.5 hour flight. That limits our weekend getaway to the west coast. I’ll crack her before the time comes.

The Longest Day

Work has been hectic lately. Deadlines, presentations, and more deadlines begin and end every day. But It’s a good hectic. This past Monday, my crew and I traveled to Oakland to film a short sales meeting video. We crammed it all into one day of torture. The morning started at 4 in the a.m. and ended at midnight thirty. It was grueling and exhausting but most of all, it was fun.

I was a writer, a production assistant, and a bartender all in the name of work. Sure, I’m having a hard time functioning today because my eyes are as heavy as bricks, but if this is what a long, hard day at work feels like, I can’t complain. Well I could complain, but it wouldn’t be fair to all of those people who have to work 12 hour shifts slinging lumber or something.

Wait a Minute!

I woke up this morning after a very anticlimactic election night and looked anxiously out my window. I peered left and then right, up and then down. But I didn't see anything. I was desperately searching for change, but everything looked the same.

After thousands of people cheered and cried in the streets, you're telling my I still have to wait for change. After all of the speeches and commercials, change isn't immediate. This sucks. I want my change.

It's Crazy!