The Belvedere

A helmet so cool it makes a Ducati look lame... so you better be riding something retro. Either that or be rocking a moped in tweed. Seriously, these helmets are smooth. See more here.

Speak the Truth

Someecards never disappoints.

Montana

I went ice fishing in my free Hi-Tec schwag... Because that's what men do. Ten Perch, one Rainbow Trout, and a giant sucker later, I went home dry and warm. Extended schwag review to come.

Pass the Popcorn

The Expendables: Starring every action movie star from the 80s and 90s. Heck, even Arnold Schwarzenegger and Dolph Lundgren get into the mix. Unfortunately, the movie sucks. Oh well. I watched it for pure nostalgia's sake.

Easy A: A fun comedy about a girl who pretends to be a slut because she's nice! If she were really nice, then she would have actually have been a slut. Aha! Just kidding. Regardless, this was a good one. It's a new spin on the high school comedy, and the entire cast did a great job delivering the punch lines.

The Other Guys: Mark Wahlberg plays his character a little too 'one note' but it holds up as a buddy cop movie. It won't blow your socks off, but it has enough laughs to make it worth your while.

Despicable Me: This was a great kid's movie. It has fun characters and good laughs, but most of all, it never gets too scary for the little ones. We bought it on a whim and are glad we did.

The Kids Are All Right: Annette Bening shines and Julianne Moore takes off her clothes again. The acting is great, but I don't know why it keeps getting Best Picture Oscar buzz.

True Grit: The 1969 original starring John Wayne, Robert Duvall, and Dennis Hopper is a classic, plain and simple.

The Road to Montana

Zip It, Please

The next person from Portland that tries to tell me that I won't be able to drive over the pass on my way to Montana without chains is going to get dropped kicked in the face. Okay, I get it. You didn't grow up in the snow. You never learned how to drive in the snow, so it scares you. I, however, did grow up driving in the snow nearly every day.

I know it's not easy, but that doesn't mean it's not possible. And while we're on the subject...No, Portland snow isn't harder to drive in than any other snow. It's the same. It is user error that makes it more difficult. So please shut up. Thank you.

Let It Burn

After watching "There Will Be Blood," Ewan McGregor burned his SAG card because he knew he could never reach that level as an actor. Every time I  watch a John Wayne movie, I try to burn my man card.

Dear 49ers

You are a hot mess. You've made me largely sad for the last 10 years, yet I still cheer for you. If you were a girlfriend, I would have dumped you. If you were a job, I would have quit you. But you're not. You're a team. You're my team. And so, I will sit and wait for you to change. Please don't take too much longer.

Sincerly,
Pathetic

Any Given Sunday

Is it just me or is Brett Favre's year playing out a lot like Oliver Stone's Any Given Sunday? Well it might not be scene for scene, but he is a legendary quarterback who's struggling to hold onto the limelight. Heck, Favre even got knocked out of the game, opening the door for Tarvaris Jackson.  And even after he was supposed to go on the IR, he was informed they might need him for one last stand. But does Brett have enough left in the tank for one last run, one last game, one last big play?

The best part about it is that Dennis Quaid would be the perfect actor to play Favre late in his career. Not to mention Tarvaris Jackson and Jamie Foxx are both black backup quarterbacks. It's like it was meant to be. Of course, Foxx played the backup roll a bit better than Jackson.

I guess we will have to wait and see what happens.

Top 5 Movies I Want to Re-Watch

The older I get, the busier I get. Here's a list of movies I loved the first time and desperately want to watch again. This list could get pretty big pretty quick. So here's the first five that come to mind.

1. The Departed
2. There Will Be Blood
3. Inception
4. Fight Club
5. Lady in the Water (Just kidding. I hate M. Night Shyamalan. He's a douche).

I'm leaving number 5 open for the best suggestion.

Tales from Adulthood

My daughter jumped in the bed this morning and said, "Dad, don't worry about the rain. I figured it out."

I could tell she was searching her brain for the exact words. Then she cleared her throat and said, "Rain, rain, go away. Come again another day."

She sat back and listened intently. The wind picked up and you could hear the rain start to fall even harder. She smiled slightly and quietly uttered, "Hmmm, I guess it didn't work this time. Oh well, I only learned it from Dora."

Classic Grit

I'm excited for the remake. But no matter how good it is, it can't replace what the Duke did. There's just something about John Wayne that inspires me. Maybe it was his pigeon toed walk or the cranky cowboys he always played. Or it could be the fact that he tossed his real name aside like rag doll because it wasn't manly enough. I'm mean really, who names their son Marion? The fact of the matter is that John Wayne was a man's man who didn't take crap from anybody.

I'd raise a glass of whiskey to the Duke any day of the week. He was more than classic tough. He was cowboy tough. Back when tough didn't mean six pack abs and a shaved chest. Tough was a weathered face and calloused hands. It was being a hero in spite of your faults.

Yogi Bear Meets Jesse James

I saw this YouTube clip on someecards.com. Edmund Earle animated this spoof as an alternate ending for the new Yogi Bear movie. It's a parody of the ending of The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford.

I had two reactions:
1) I remembered that The Assassination of Jesse James was a very well done movie. It has a methodical pace but definitely worth watching.
2) It made me sad. I thought it was funny but not "ha ha" funny. Just sad funny. I'm not sure how I would have reacted had I not watched the The Assassination of Jesse James. But it's similarities to the movie are impeccable. I have to admit, I'm amazed at the emotion the animator got out of Yogi's eyes before he's done in. It's pretty intense.

I'm interested to see if people were amused or offended.

Still Funny

I know this came out 6 months ago, but I stumbled across it today and it's still funny. Watch the real news footage first. Than watch the remix.

News Footage


Remix

Pass the Popcorn: The Last Airbender

M. Night Shyamalan is an awful director. It thought the main purpose of a director was to get a performance out of an actor that tells the best story. To find the great moments in a script and bring them to life on screen. Shyamalan can't do that.

When he's dealing with inexperienced actors, the performance are always flat and lifeless. He got lucky by having good actors in his first couple of flicks. But since then, he's continued to show us why he can't direct one lame performance after another.

Bottom line: The movie is okay for kids. But if you care about script, storyline, or decent performances, then don't bother.

Good Fortune

Have you ever found $1 on the ground? It's one of the coolest things ever. I swear, no matter how much money I have in my wallet, if I find a dollar on the ground, I feel like I just discovered a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

And it's a dollar, four quarters. I wouldn't even notice if I lost four quarters from my change jar. But if I  find it in the form of a greenback...ahhhhh, it's like the Gods of good fortune are smiling down.

C Cup Please

My wife had sinus surgery this week. Basically, they stuck a tiny drill up her nose and opened it up a little. The two-hour surgery went well. Of course, the first thing she said after waking up on the operating table was, "what size breasts did you give me?"

The doctor laughed as my wife passed back out. She remembers none of it.

Pass the Popcorn: Grown Ups

After their beloved childhood coach passes away, a group of friends reunite for a lame funeral followed by a meandering, obnoxious, and pointless weekend of stupidity. Grown Ups is simply a bunch of comedians collecting a paycheck where the jokes on anybody who actually paid to watch this movie.