Welcome little man!

Congratulations Eric and Amber for successfully creating life. I would like to welcome Patrick Stanley Strahl into the world. A healthy boy just over 20 inches and 8 pounds (if my memory serves me).

Eric will teach you how to dress and recycle. I will teach you how to kill things (like deer, elk, or your wife's dreams of happiness).

Steel Train was the opening act for Ben Folds. They looked like a bunch of douche bags but they had some fun music. Check em out.

Ben Folds was great. He's so far gone on the normal train that he actually turned pimp daddy cool. Anytime you have a song that reflects on your nut sack, you're going somewhere.

The Roseland Theater is a great venue - I recommend getting seats in the balcony. They have drink service and you have a better view of the stage.

All in all, it made for a good outing with the Mrs.

Finally, the weekend has arrived in conjunction with good weather. Unfortunately my wife works both days, so I won't have free reign of the sunshine. But the kiddos and I will find something fun to do.

I hate being lied to.

In my never ending battle to put used tires on my truck, I stumbled across a small shop that deals in exactly that. Two weeks ago I asked the guy how much a certain set of wheels were to which he replies, "$250, installed." Since I didn't have my truck, I told him that I would have to come back.

Today, the price miraculously jumped to $280. When I told him that's not what they were the last time I came in and that's also not what they are listed at on his craigslist ad, he simply told me I was wrong. To which my reply was, "I don't like being lied to. Thanks but no thanks. I will not be coming back here."

I don't even really care about the $30. I just can't stand it when people try to take advantage of or lie to me. I have no patience for it.

Big Red Pimp'n

I took my daughter to see Sesame Street Live last weekend. Even though they call it Sesame Street Live, it's really all about Elmo. He's like Axl Rose for 3-year-olds.

After a 15- minute introduction of all of the other characters, the place went dark. Big Bird said, "Oh man, who are we missing?"

The crowd erupted, "ELMO!"

The spotlight tracked to center stage and out came the man of the hour. Screams echoed throughout as Elmo's furry ass started dancing around. I couldn't help but notice a hint of disdain in the rest of the characters.

I can just see them all going out for drinks afterward. Elmo's got two furry babes on each arm, slamming back Dos Equis while Grover and the gang play second fiddle. Kermit said that it ain't easy being green. But I can't help but think that you can have any bed when you're red.

I mean really, what do you do after you've played Elmo on the big stage. There's nothing more you can accomplish in the land of Muppets. My best guess is that you're forced to move on to actual musicals. That is of course, unless a jealous Muppet doesn't off you first because he wants your gig.

It's a dangerous world no doubt. I can see it now. It's like Showgirls but with better acting and no waxing.

Bad Boys, What you gonna do...

I was going to buy some tires off a guy on craigslist yesterday. I called him up and arranged to get them today. Instead of getting exactly what I was looking for, however, I got a visit from the police.

Apparently right after I got off the phone with the guy, someone stole the tires out of his backyard. Naturally, since I was the last one he talked to, I was the first one the cops looked into.

Imagine my surprise when a uniformed detective knocked on my door looking for some BFGs. Since I'm a fan of CSI and just about every other crime show, I was all about helping out. Unfortunately, all he wanted to do was cross me off the list. I guess my white picket fence, American flag, and manicured lawn didn't scream criminal mind to him. I guess I won't be solving any mysteries today, after all.

The worst part is that now I have to find a different set of tires.

The Matrix is still one of the best movies for it's genre. It's too bad the other two totally sucked. The Wachowski brothers got ahead of themselves instead of simply using 'just enough' like they did in the first one.

Funny

I was searching for voiceover talent online today, which can be a like looking in your fridge 10 times a minute and hoping to see food that wasn't there 6 seconds ago. I started skipping through sections of the clips when I heard, " you can do it an airplane."

I laughed. It was funny.

Rock'n Roll

When we're getting ready to go in the morning, my daughter says, "let's rock'n roll, daddy." I didn't realize that's what I said before we left every day until she started asking me if we're going to rock'n roll.

Now she points to Henry and says, "baby's car seat. Let's rock'n roll."

Call it what you want to call it.

Whether you call it Cornhole or Baggo, it's still one of the funnest backyard games I've played. It's a mixture of horseshoes and that beanbag tic tac toe game you played as a kid. The best part about it is that you don't need a ton of space, it has a small learning curve, and there's virtually no skill involved. I smell BBQ drinking game.

You can get the Target version for $50 and it's well worth the price. Two players or four, Baggo is the way to have fun in the backyard.

Baby Names

Right after we named Sophia I started seeing that name pop up everywhere. While researching names I didn't see it in the top 10 of any list. After merely a year and a half, it ranks number seven on SSA name registry and number four on other sites.

Likewise, when we named our son Henry four months ago, I didn't know a single kid with that name. Since, I've met three people who have named their son Henry and another one on the way. It still hasn't broken through the top ten, but I can only wonder how long it will take.

Now I don't know if I'm simply a trend setter or an early adapter. Perhaps I'm just a douche bag for thinking about it.

The Sprite Commercial is Creepy

What's the deal with the Sprite commercial where the dudes are drinking soda on a scorching day then out of nowhere start jumping into each other and turning into water? I get the reference, but why do all of the other dudes start bathing in their newly liquefied friends?

If my buddy ran across some pavement, jumped into some random dude, and turned into liquid, I wouldn't run through his watery remains. I wouldn't soak in what's left of some dude like it's a refreshing cure for a heat wave. That's just weird. And this commercial is on all of the time.

Quit freaking me out, Sprite. Where do these people go? Is it like Logan's Run where they think they are traveling to an alternate universe but really, they're just dying?

As much as I don't like seeing the Rockets win, I love watching the Lakers lose. Which is weird because I used to be a fan. I guess I can say I have completely stripped away my fanhood of the purple and gold. Luckily I didn't hurt my ankles jumping off that band wagon.

You know you're getting old when you don't get to buy tickets to the game because your wife already bought tickets to see "Sesame Street Live" with the kids. Yes! I love Elmo.

1 and 2 and 3 and 4

I've recently re-entered to world of working out. I know, it seems like I do that about once every two months. But it's surprising how much time your kids will actually suck out of your life. I went into father thinking, "I guess i'll just cut my workout down to 3 a week." Now I'm happen to make to the gym once a week.

I could get there more, but there's not one close to my house. On top of that, I feel bad getting my sweat on after work while my wife sits at home with the little ones.

On to the point. To kick off my latest stint of exercising, the wife and I started doing Comcast On Demand's fitness TV. At first, I thought it was going to strip me of my masculinity. And it very well might be. But it's also kicking my ass. I don't care what anybody says, a half hour mixture of aerobics, yoga, and pilates is hard. (a) I'm not flexible. (b) It's nonstop. (c) I'm really not flexible.

Who knows how long this kick will last. But as long as it does, you'll be seeing my whooped butt walking with a limp.

The Celtics vs. Bulls series has been one of the best series of all time. I haven't been able to watch all of the games, but as a sports fan, I can't deny the competitive intensity of every game. Even the one where the Celtics blew out the Bulls was crazy because it was completely unexpected.

Really Happened

At the park during my lunch break shooting hoops with a co-worker, I notice a homeless man pull out a driver and sack of golf balls.

Lucas - Well that doesn't look entirely safe.

The homeless man shanks one about 20-feet ahead of him.

Lucas - Maybe if he keeps hitting like that it is. But this is a park, not a driving man.

The homeless man gets a hold of the next one. twenty, 50, 100 yards in the air.

Homeless man - Four. Four. Four!!

I look up to see the ball drop right infront another homeless man that's crossing the park.

Lucas - Holy crap.

The second homeless man methodically marches his way the 100-yards to the would-be golfer.

Homeless man #2 - What the f**k are you thinking. You better get the hell out of this park before I take that club and shove it up your a**. I'm gonna rip off your bear. Why do yo have a beard, you dumb a**. I'm gonna rip it off right after I wrap that club around your head.

Homeless man 1 just stands there.

Lucas - I really hope I don't have to break up a fight between two homeless guys. I don't want to get cut.

Homeless man #2 - You got 30 seconds to leave before I rip you head off. One, two, three, four.

Of course he stops at four. Who really wants to count to 30 outloud. It just seems excessive. I only give my daughter until 5 because I definitely don't want to count the 30 outloud.

Homeless man #1 packs up hit clubs and balls and walks off. Homeless man #2 looks over at my co-worker and I and makes a succession of what might have been whoops and hollers. He's got the crazy eyes.

Lucas - I really don't want to have to kick a homeless guy's ass today.

R.I.P. Rip City. Until next year.

There's no scoring in soccer

I spent last night at the Portland Timber’s home opener. We got box seats through my company, which as it turns out, are a hell of a lot of fun. We were able to bring both kids and not worry about them going crazy all up in other people’s Kool Aide.

As for the Timbers, they had a rough first half but played much better in the second. And of course because it’s soccer, it still ended in a tie. All in all, we had a great time and look forward to doing it again. Goooooaaaaaal.

My wife said that the regular flu has killed over 13,000 people this year. Yet, we hear nothing...

Screw You, Swine Flu.

Let's start the fear parade. The swine flu has claimed its first victim in the U.S. I think that people should definitely be vigilant when it comes to dealing with such a contagious virus, but once again, the media hasn't helped calm the storm.

So beyond saving lives, let's ban together and wash our hands so we don't have to listen to the same news story for the next 6 months. Cover your mouth when you cough so I don't have to read "The end is near" on Yahoo's home page every time I go online. Let's postpone our much needed vacations to Mexico so I don't have to complain about the repetitive fear machine that is the news.

Come on people. The honor of the news is at stake here.

Henry is officially rolling over now. It's surprising because he's basically been a blob up until now. Then he just woke up and started rolling over. I guess 4 months is about when they should be doing all that.

It's rediculous how popular Twitter is. I understand updating a couple of times a day, but what's up with people who update a couple of times every half an hour. I started following ESPN First Take, but I'm going to have to quit because they update every 5 minutes. Holy $#!+. I really don't care that much.

Sophia the Easter Bunny...or Little Rascal.

The Brother-in-Laws and I.

I went to the gym and lifted, and then came home and ran three miles yesterday. It's been about 4 months and i'm feeling it. That makes me feel either old or lazy. I'm not sure which one I'm willing to accept right now.

The Draft

I like how the NFL draft is touted as the turning point for many teams. Granted in some cases a team does get their star player that helps turn the franchise around, i.e., Matt Ryan and the Falcons. But let's be honest, even in the case of the Falcons, they wouldn't have had nearly success if it wasn't for the off season acquisitions at running back etc.

With the state of the ballooning salaries for number 1 picks, the draft almost hurts teams these days. One contract consisting of 41 million guaranteed dollars can put a team pack 4 years if they make the wrong choice. The NFL needs to adopt a system like the NBA, which makes rookies prove themselves before they are offered the big dollars. I'm not saying that athletes don't deserve to make pay, but they should have to earn it.

And even though the draft can't save teams, I'm stilled stoked that the 49ers got Crabtree at the 10 spot. Hopefully it pans out.

If the Air Yeezy and the Hyper Dunk had a love child, it would be the Nike McFly.

+

=

Blazer (insert sad face here)

Okay, so the Blazers gave us a pretty weak attempt in game 1. Granted, they haven't been to the post season for awhile and there was a lot of hoopla going on before the game, so I can see how they got distracted. The fact of the matter is that they got punched in the face, and now they have to punch back. 

I still don't think it's the worst match up. We just need more than one player to show up for the game. And Ron Artest needs to quick cashing in his ugly money. How the hell does that guy make half those shots? 

I just ordered some Saucony Courageous TRs. Saved $25 bucks on 'em, which is nice.  I've been getting free shoes from AND1 lately, so my wife didn't think I needed another pair. But those were all B-ball shoes, which don't cut it 24/7. 

With Ken Griffey Jr. back in Seattle I'm thinking about switching my baseball allegiance to the Mariners. I still like the Yankees, but I never get to see them on TV. Maybe I'll just pull double duty on my fandom.

Griffey is a lot like Grant Hill. You just can't help but like the guy. Even (or maybe because of) if he gets hurt all the time.

Blazers! 

I have to admit that this is the first year of my Blazer fandom. I’ve never lived in Portland before, nor did I really watch that mush basketball. But since moving here a year and a half ago, I decided that I was going to dedicate myself to becoming a Blazers’ fan. Luckily, my move coincided with their resurgence as being a strong contender. 

And since AND1 endorses Steve Blake and my company does the creative for AND1, I’ve had even more incentive to keep up with the team. That being said, this was a pretty exciting year on the hardwood. 

Unfortunately, one of my co-workers is a die-hard Lakers’ fan. This doesn’t bother me except for he’s one of those ‘hate to lose, really serious about every stat and every game kind of fan.’ You know, the type that has an excuse for every loss or missed shot along. The one who has the schedule printed off and pinned to his bulletin board with every outcome marked in red. And heaven forbid Blazers’ fans start celebrating after making it to the Playoffs for the first time in over a handful of years. 

Yes Keo, I'm talking to you.

I guess what it boils down to, is that it’s great to be a fan, but a little tiresome dealing with fanatics. I get it; the Blazers haven’t won a title in a while. But that doesn’t make their recent accomplishments any less important. 

So Blazers’ Fans, keep on cheering. Even if it doesn’t happen this year, it was a damn good run for a young team. Next year, of course, we will have serious expectations. And Lakers’ fans, give it a rest. We know the Lakers had a great year. We know they’ve won more titles. But perhaps in this ‘what have you done for me lately’ day and age, maybe you should calm yourselves until you bring home the trophy. After all, you did get completely embarrassed by the Celtics in last year’s finals. 

This is the ad I used to sell my dumbbells on Craigslist. I don't know if it was just a really good deal or my ad simply prompted people to buy, but they were sold the same day. Nice!

I’ve got a set of Bowflex SelectTech dumbbells for sale. These adjustable dumbbells go from 5 to 52.5 lbs with the turn of a wrist. They are incredibly convenient, don’t take up much space, and function perfectly. I was hoping to become ripped like Brad Pitt in Fight Club with these bad boys, but my spare room has been overrun with kid’s toys. So now, I’m destined to resemble Brad Pitt in Benjamin Button. Oh well. 

The SelecTechs are over $400 new. I’m asking $250 - a small price to pay to be as chiseled as a movie star. Of course, if you don’t use them, the price isn’t small, only unnecessary. 

Pirates Can Suck It.

There’s nothing I hate more than a thug, which is all a pirate really is. They travel around the seas attacking and stealing from defenseless ships. Glorified in third-world countries and largely ignored by the rest of the world until this last week. 

After killing several pirates during a successful rescue, more sea-thugs vow to kill future prisoners if they are attacked. I say by letting them run the seas unchecked, we’ve already enabled their actions… up until now. They are criminals, gang members at sea, and they should be treated as such. 

I think if a pirate chooses to attack a ship, we should blow them out of the water, no questions asked. We should track them down and light ‘em up like the scum they are. There are certain people in this world that don’t deserve to be dealt with in a civil manner.

I feel the same away about gangs on land. They steal, kill, and drag down everyone around them. I know our country gets entrenched in due process, but I have no patience for these types. If you’re in a gang, caught carrying out gang activity, you get no trial.

I also think these sea vessels should have military trained personnel on them. If they are attacked, they can at least fight back. I’m sick and tired of hearing about people dying due to gang violence. We’ve been steadily losing this war as our cities diversify and culture clash. The only way to stop gang violence is to eliminate the gangs. 

I hate to get all Dirty Harry on society, but there comes a time when we have to say enough is enough. 

Kanye Want to be better...

A recent South Park attacking Kanye West's gigantic ego may have actually prompted him to change. At least according to Mr. West who says that the episode made him take a long hard look in the mirror. 

Kudos for Kanye actually saying the right thing at the right time. Unfortunately I don't believe a word. Sorry Kanye. You've got good music, but you're still a giant Douche-Bag.

Iron Gym = Broken Lucas

My wife bought me the iron gym last month…for no apparent reason. I would like to start off by saying if I bought her a Thigh Master for no reason, it probably would have been met with some resistance, perhaps even a fight. But that’s beyond the point. I’m a man, so instead of immediately thinking she wasn’t happy with by physique; I was excited to have a new toy.

The Iron Gym works perfectly. It’s out of the way and easy to use. So easy in fact, that when I’m home I will find myself doing 50-100 pull-up

s in a short period of time (not all at once, mind you). Unfortunately, after about a week of consistent use, I woke up with a viscous pinched nerve (or a muscle strain) behind my right shoulder blade. 

I haven’t been able to use my right side all day. So in the end, the Iron Gym gets an A+ (much like the Perfect Pushups) for usability. But I get a D- for durability. 

I find Twitter intriguing. I just don't think people care (or should care) about what I'm doing all day long. Then again, I read about what they're doing when I have the time. I don't if that makes me ignorant or just a hypocrite. 

I Am Literacy… I think. 

I need to find a good book. Lately, I’ve gone to work, come home, watched some TV, and gone to bed way too early – a pretty boring routine. I don’t even have the freedom to hit the gym. That happens when you’re a parent. Especially the parent of an infant. Since they wake up two or three times a night and all, you’re typically too tired to really care about much else.

But more than missing my sleep, I miss being able to read in bed without falling asleep. It makes me feel like less of a man to say that I miss a good book, but hey, men read too. We just usually read captions, street signs, and box scores. But then we stumble upon a good book, and we become readers. Actual, full-blown literary geniuses. I guess I shouldn’t go that far. That last book I read was about a girl who blew her face off because she need attention, and coped with the incident by befriending her estranged brother who was about to have a sex change while the traveled the country stealing prescription pills from ‘Open Houses’ – that Chuck Palahniuk for you. 

Regardless, I haven’t read a good book for a while. Our son is still sleeping in the bassinet in the bedroom, so I try to not turn on the light. Also, my wife is just as tired as I am, and she tends to go to bed much earlier. I have a hard time trying to read when someone is sleeping next to me. I don’t know why. I just do. 

Even more than a good book, I miss seeing movies in theaters. But that’s a whole other can of worms. 

Trust Me

TNT’s new dramedy, Trust Me, sucked me in. I have a feeling it might become a victim of not registering with those who aren’t in the advertising industry much like Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip did to those who have never ventured into the entertainment industry. But for what it’s worth, I find it enjoyable. 

Without going into the details, it’s safe to say that I can easily find something to relate to in every episode. If you’re looking a comedic look into the advertising world, I would recommend Trust Me. 

Really, An entire week without a post!

I wish I had a better excuse than 'I was just too busy'... at work, at home, and all weekend. I know it's lame. At least I can take solace in the fact that very few people actually read my blog, nor actually care about what I have to say.

That being said, all of the creative was approved on the energy drink I've been working on. It should be out in a couple of months. I'll actually promote it when it goes into production. I don't want to get fired for spilling the beans prematurely, you know.

We've also complete the creative for OurBeer Day. It's bad-ass. Now, we're trying to get some breweries on the bandwagon.

My daughter turned two today, but she's been pretty 'Terrible" for the last month or so. Exhausting. 

I have such bad allergies that I thought I had pink eye. At least I could have treated pink eye. Now, I just have to live with being miserable.

This rash of nice weather allowed me to barbecue on my new deck and enjoy the privacy of my backyard. It was awesome, hence, I am awesome.

Alright, that about sums it up. 

Ben Folds

I'm going to see Ben Folds with the Mrs. next month at the Roseland Theater in Portland.  It should be a good time. Between his piano ballads and snarky lyrics, he seldom lets me down. His latest album, Way to Normal, took longer than the previous ones for me to appreciate, but it eventually found its way on to my playlist. From the care-free piano rock of Hiroshima to the radio single You Don't Know Me, there is wide range of music to listen to.

Allergies Suck.

I've never had allergies until last year. At first, I was like, "hey, I can deal with this." Now I want to scratch my eyeballs out all day long. I've been taking Zyrtec for the last couple of days, but I don't feel like it's accomplishing much. I backed that up with some Visine-A, but found relief for only a couple of minutes. 

I'm not sure what else to do. I hoping that as spring sets in, my eyes will start to adjust. If not, I may go SAW on myself and literally scratch out my eyes. I would prefer to avoid the latter.

Freakin' Awesome.

Amidst a down poor, I prevailed. I built my first deck despite rain and even hail. Sure, I made three trips to Home Depot in one day, but that's not the point. The point is that I succeeded. And it's pretty freakin' awesome if I do say so myself. Granted, we'll have to see if it holds up. But for now, I'm marking this one down as a victory.


BEFORE...




AFTER...



And as an added bonus, I put up a fence so I don't have to look at the trash in my neighbor's yard. It was a pretty productive weekend if you ask me.


BEFORE...





AFTER...

I hate being a Duke fan.

I know I shouldn't complain. Duke has been in the tournament since the beginning of time. They've won like 8 out of the last 10 ACC championships and won the NCAA tournament in 2001. But their above average mediocrity is starting to really annoy me.

Every year Duke shows flashes of brilliance that, as a fan, I can see projecting them into the Final Four. They're good enough not to be dismissed, but bad enough to destroy my bracket when they get pummeled in the Sweet 16. So I'm not only disappointed as a fan, but my office pool is also 'effed.' 

Granted, I could NOT put them in the Final Four, but being a true fan, I can't quite allow myself to do that. Now my only hope for emotional stability is if UNC gets throttled today by Gonzaga. If my team can't win, I can only home that my enemy gets dismantled as well. Besides that, I will just have to wait until next year to get my hearted ripped out again.

That's one big Goldendoodle.

St. John's Cathedral Park

This is a view of Cathedral Park. It's along my running route, but I've never taken the time to check it out. I know it's dog friendly and pretty bad ass if you ask me. I can't believe I haven't hung out there yet. Especially since it's only minutes from my house.

New Prius is smarter than the Smart Car.

The new Prius averages 50 mpg and can get upwards of 70 mpg depending on the conditions. Not bad. It seats four comfortably and coming in at around 22k, it won't break the bank. The Smart Car Brabus averages 38 mpg and only seats two people. It comes in at around 18k and is the equivalent of reinforced tin can. 

The Bottom Line:

If you drive the Prius, you're smart.

If you drive the Smart Car, you're a moron.

This Week @ Work

I'm starting a giveback day with my coworkers aimed at supporting our local breweries along with National Arbor Day. The details haven't been completely hammered out yet, but we've already claimed legal ownership of it all. 

I would like to introduce you to OurBeer Day (TM). It will be in conjunction with National Arbor Day but may run through the weekend. We'll be partnering with local breweries and tree planting organizations in order to celebrate the goodness of trees and brew one pint at a time.

We already have a green non-profit on board to help with promotion and to do the planting, and we will be approaching Portland breweries shortly. If you have a favorite local beer maker that you would like to see get involved, let me know and I will put them on the list. 

This idea spawned from a recent brainstorming session, but we know that with your help we can gain enough support to make it a success this year. I'll keep you updated, so we can all spread the word.

Because everyone deserves to get that warm fuzzy feeling from doing something good. You drink the pints and we'll plant the trees. 

The Lasts...

Most parents focus on the first time their kids do something because its new and exciting. When you notice the last time your kids do something it's merely bitter sweet. 

My daughter, who is almost 2 years old, is really starting to master her words and sentences. When she was younger she would call our dog Harper, Fa Fa because she couldn't pronounce the H and the P. Last night she looked at him and clearly said, "Harper, play." It was the first time I heard her say his name. On the reverse of that, the next couple of times she says Fa Fa will probably be the last. 

It feels great to see her grow and learn so well, but it's also sad to know that you can never go back. She will never be a baby again. She will never depend on me as much as she did last week, or last month, or last year. She will eventually lose the naivety of childhood and grow up. It gives you an amazing feeling of pride and at the same time it breaks your heart. It's something that can't be explained, only felt. 

Shoes for me!

After working on the AND1 Tribute project for a couple of months, I finally got my ME8 Tributes. We ended up designing a special box, information brochure, and special authenticity piece for these limited edition kicks. Unfortunately, some of the PR left out the fact that AND1 donated a lot of money two different foundations in honor of Dr. King. Without this information it looked like they were trying to take advantage of his image, when in fact, they were whole-heartedly trying to promote his legacy.

We had nothing to do with the design of the shoes, rather, we merely crafted the story behind the Tribute. Turns out that MLK played basketball for the Butler Street YMCA Rebels in his youth. This time in his life helped craft his leadership etc., so we used that as the backbone of our creative. It was a fun project to work on and benefited a good cause.

Regardless, I've got a nice pair of shoes to show for it. They look great displayed with the other pieces that come in the box. I'll put up a pick tomorrow. For more information on AND1 Tribute go to and1.com/tribute.

Handymen Unite!

I'm been in rare form over the last couple of weeks. With my good friend Eric throwing in an extra hand, I've been able to build a railing around my front porch and install a dishwasher in my kitchen. And this weekend I will tackle a new deck in the backyard.

The dishwasher was definitely the toughest of my last two projects. I ran into more problems with the plumbing under my sink than I had expected. And since my dishwasher didn't exactly fit into the spot I had intended for it to go, a three hour project turned into an eight hour one in a hurry. 

Nonetheless, it's installed, hardwired, plumbed and works like a charm. My kitchen is now complete. Short of granite countertops, there's nothing else I can do to make it better. Thank God.

The Torment Continues...

So I'm now ranked 3,000 out of roughly 5,000,000 in ESPN's NCAA Bracket. I feel pretty good about being in the 99.9th percentile, but if my bracket continues to do well, then I will start to get pissed. Because I have UNC going into the Final Four and there's no way in hell I want the Tarheels to continue to win. So I'm torn. 

Luckily, I picked them to lose to Gonzaga this weekend in my office pool, which gives me another reason to root for their demise. GO DUKE.

I'm currently ranked 14,000 out of roughly 5,000,000 in my ESPN bracket. I look forward to that ranking dropping dramatically. I plan on finishing in the 50th percentile, as opposed to the 99.7th percentile I'm currently in.

An Era Fades Away

The Seattle Post-Intellegencer newspaper delivered its last edition today. In the age of 24-hour news and constant Internet updates, more and more presses are going silent. As a former journalist (kind of...I have the degree in it, and I wrote for the school paper and one magazine) I hope that when these papers transition to their online forms, they don't sacrifice their journalistic integrity just to keep the pages fresh. 

That's what happened to TV newscasts. When the news comes on every other hour, less and less actual news gets reported because they have to fill the time slot with something. Fluff takes over and the viewer loses out. 

Even though I don't read newspapers very often, knowing they are becoming obsolete is still disheartening. Eight-tracks, vinyl records, and telegraph; yes, technology will continually force outdated forms of media to the side. But for some reason, this one just feels different to me. Maybe it's because I'm old enough to know that an era is fading away. Or maybe I'm just a complete D-bag. I'm not sure yet. 

Safari and Blogspot don't get along.

I have no problem formatting my blog on my PC at home, but my Mac at work sucks. I understand that Macs are generally better for artsy-fartsy stuff, but it just doesn't jive with blogger. 

My Losing Bracket

It's hard for me to overlook Duke. They're my team. That being said, I'm only 70% confident in my Final Four selections. I believe, we'll be seeing Pitt in the championship unless their big dogs get into foul trouble. I also think Louisville will come up short against the likes of a Wake Forest. But I can't help but ride the wave and pick with my heart. Go Duke!

The Harmonica

This instrument has gotten a bad rap over the years due to convicts and rednecks. But when played properly, the harmonica can add an undeniable emotion to a variety of music. I love me some harmonica every once and 

awhile.

This week @ work

I have to admit that I have a cool job. It's relaxed and fun most of the time. This week at work I was able to name an energy drink. At first, I just thought, "No big deal. It's my job to do these things." But after talking about it with a couple of people, I realized that it is actually pretty damned cool. Hopefully it will be a huge success.

Smart Phones for Dummies

I've always thought it was funny when I new people who needed a smart phone, but didn't have a job that required them to be in constant contact with clients and bosses, etc. Then the iPhone came out turned the smart phone into a play phone, where you could really experience the web through different apps. This opened the door for the average consumer to feel the need for smart phones.

Despite the joy of looking up a street map on your phone when your lost or checking out movie times, I've become just important enough at work that I now want a smart phone. Of course, I'm still in the infancy stages of my clout, so I don't know how badly I really need one. But nonetheless, I could walk around with one in my pocket and know I have a functional purpose for it.

Is there a point to this whole ramble. No, not really. 

March Madness!

This year's NCAA tournament group is scary up and down. I can legitimately see half the field make it to the Final Four, and at the same time, I wouldn't be surprised if all of the #1s reigned supreme. The parody in college hoops is exciting, but it also makes the office pool a crap shoot. 

The more you research these teams, the more you can make a case for upsets and Cinderella stories. I would probably be better off not looking at the brackets until Wednesday night and flipping a coin for each pick. Instead, I will toil over every region, change my mind 10 times a day, and finally pick a horribly losing bracket that has Duke winning it all. 

You see, March Madness is the time of year for the office geeks to torture the sports lovers by randomly kicking their assess one pick after another - all without watching or caring about a single game. Luckily, I've come to realize this fact and will take my whoopings with dignity. 

But seriously, if Duke's guards get hot, they'll be hard to stop. If they don't, they may not win a game. Damn, I love being a fan.

"Somebody's got a case of the Mondays."

I'm Twitterpated!

I signed up for Twitter today so I can be 'in the know' on what's being said about our clients. I have to say that I'm largely against this. Why do most people think that some one else cares what they're doing every hour of every day? Blogs I get because you mostly try to write about relevant topics, but Twitter... not so much. Maybe I just don't have enough friends. I guess I'll have to wait and see if it grabs hold of me.

I’m a man. What’s it to ya?

I recently read an article claiming that no self-respecting man would be caught dead buying or drinking Michelob Ultra, at least no self-respecting non-metrosexual. I found this interesting. Why? Because I drink Michelob Ultra. I also own a chainsaw, a 4x4 truck, power tools, and guns. I watch football, go to the gym, and camp. I grew up in Montana, was a wild-land firefighter for 3 years, and worked at a damn. Basically, I’m not much of a metrosexual. In fact, I would consider myself a very self-respecting man. 

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy microbrews too. But I also think that you don’t have to don a beer gut to be considered a man. You can enjoy a light, crisp beer without getting full and still look at yourself in the mirror every day. Hell, I also enjoy a bottle wine half the time. So to all of those who think you can’t be a man and drink an Ultra, come on over to my house. I will whoop your ass and follow it up with an Ultra. 

On that same note, there are a couple of things I don’t feel manly when I do. The first is using Chapstick. Doing manly things usually puts you in harsh environmental conditions that chap your lips, but there’s something about puckering up that just doesn’t feel right. The second is using the elliptical at the gym. Sure, it’s supposed to be gentle on your joints, but I feel a little ‘off’ gliding back and forth. 

Not Cool, NBC.

NBC is the only major network to charge for its OnDemand shows. Sure $.99 won't break the bank, but when it's broadcast for free and viewable on their website free, it doesn't make sense to charge here. They don't even have the best program selection.

So while CBS and ABC slut it up for nothing, NBC has to go all prostitute on us. No one likes paying for what they can get for free, NBC. I don't even look at your OnDemand section anymore. You've let yourself go, so I'm gonna get it somewhere else. 

Really?

Comedy Central is Roasting Larry the Cable Guy this month. Isn't it a little early to be saying that this guy is worthy of a roast? In fact, after his string of crappy movies, I don't think he should ever be honored as a comedic genius. I'm not saying that I would turn down a truck load of cash to make horrible movies, but I wouldn't expect to be rewarded with a roast after I'd taken the money and run. 

I know Comedy Central is creating their own roasts in the vein of the Friar's Club, but really, Bob Saget and even Pamela Anderson I get. Larry, not so much.

Pass the Popcorn

Gus Van Sant gave us 'Good Will Hunting,' 'Psycho,' and this year's Oscar nominated 'Milk,' but for as much as he's earned a spot as towards the top of the director's totem pole, he sure can make a pile of crap too. 

I watched 'Paranoid Park' this weekend because it was filmed in Portland... and I had nothing else to do. As much as I would love to rant on about this flick, the bottom line is that it sucked. The source material was interesting, but the acting and pacing(thus directing) were bottom tier. I don't think I believed a single word that came out of any one of those kid's mouths. 

If you're looking for an indie flick to pass the time, look past 'Paranoid Park.'

If it's yellow, let it mellow.

If It's brown, flush it down.

And if it's clear, you've drank too much beer.

Escape a Bear Market Attack?

Growing up, I was always told to play dead if a grizzly bear attacks you and to fight back if a black bear attacks you. So what should I do during this current bear stock market attack? 

Breaking it down, it looks like the attack seems pretty big at this point. Large stocks are plummeting and the media seems to be screaming bloody murder. It's safe to say that this is a grizzly bear market attack, but should I play dead? 

According to numerous blogs and articles, if you're over 10 years from retiring, the answer is yes. Play dead, don't move, and the market will finally turn around and go the other direction. It sounds scary, but if it works against an 800-pound carnivore, then maybe you've got a chance.

Of course, for those that are close to hanging up their work boots, this can be considered a predatory attack, which means the rules change. Fight back. That's what they say. During any predatory attack, this may be your only hope. Try to salvage your money and fight tooth and nail. Hopefully you'll come out of it without being mortally wounded. 

I don't know if I can believe everything I read. For my money, I would only trust someone that has actually survived a bear attack of this magnitude, and we won't know who those people are until this turns around. I guess you can avoid a lot of the peril by not hiking in the woods at all. But what's the fun in that?

At The Theater

We went to see 'Wicked' at the Keller Auditorium yesterday. It was a lot of fun. For my money, musicals have a little too much music in them, but overall, it was a great time. Look ma, I'm cultured.

Yeah, I'm that guy.

Pending Home Sales Increase

According to OregonLive.com, there has been an increase in the median home price and pending home sales in 19 counties in Washington over the last month. Sure, it's a baby step, but it's also the first time we've heard the word 'increase' used in a good way for awhile now. As a homeowner, I can't help but cross my fingers and hope that home prices Portland will quit falling. My family is growing, which means the Mrs. and I will need to upgrade in the near future - something that won't be possible if we can't sell our current house.

Luckily, the sub $250k market wasn't hit nearly as hard as the higher-priced homes, but we're still in a hole. Of course when it's all said and done, we just count our blessing that we have a roof over our heads and steady jobs to pay our bills. 

Rain, Rain, Go Away.

I'm sick of the rain. This is the time of year where the gray skies start to really start to bring me down. Don't bring me down, man. 

Saucony Courageous

I haven't bought a pair of Sauconys since the early 90s. I like their push towards being relevant beyond hardcore runner with these new colorways. And for $70 a pair, they may give the ACGs a run for the money.

Malinda got a new camera. Now everything is taken in black and white. Hmmm.

Octamom!

Is the media seriously giving this lady a comic book name. Octamom has the power of unatural reproduction. Her powers stem from the complete inability to naturally reproduce, thus forcing her to undergo a risky procedure that has left her mutated and alone. Octamom! Will she use her powers for good or evil. Stay tuned to find out.

Pass the Popcorn

This weekend two very interesting things happened at the movies. The Jonas Brothers 3D Experience didn’t claim the top spot, and Tyler Perry’s new Madea’s (fill in random subplot here) did. I have two natural reactions to this.

1: Who the hell keeps going to Tyler Perry movies? How many reincarnations of the same lame character can he make and still fill the theaters? Seriously, is there nothing else out right now that can pull the masses away from Tyler Perry? Really? He's a dude dressed up like an old lady. That's good for one movie. Just ask Robbin Williams. He knew to hang up the gray wig.

2: I hate the Jonas Brothers. I tried to at least be indifferent and let them make their millions. I get it, there will always be some young pop group for the 12-year-olds to swoon over. But after the last two times I’ve seen them perform on TV, I simply can’t stand them. They run all over the stage over performing for teens that don’t even know who McJagger is. When I think about their duet with Stevie Wonder, I start involuntarily swinging at people in rage. They are complete douche bags - albeit rich douche bags.

They call me mellow yellow

I've always considered my musical tastes to be fairly broad. And even though I do like listening to everything from rap to the rat pack, I've recently discovered that my preference have slowly shifted to all things soft alternative/indie/bluegrass/rock. Basically, I'm just soft.

After trying to figure out why I'm such of raging vagina when it comes to my musical choices, I stumbled upon a startling realization; I'm high strung. That's right. I have a lot of energy. My mind goes a mile a minute. And I have a hard time sitting still. I guess it makes sense that I need to indulge in mellow music in order to balance myself out and decompress.

If I listened to too many hardcore riffs, my heart would probably explode. In fact, every time I think about being relaxed, it usually was when I was listening to music. And that's about it. Besides those moments, I'm usually thinking about the next new slogan, or how I'm going to build my deck, or why now is the perfect time to invest in the stock market.

Music is about the only thing that keeps me mellow...at least as mellow as I can allow myself to be. And I'm okay with that. As it turns out, I'm not a vagina. I merely need a counter weight to my life.

Ah Ha!

Apparently I agreed to run an 8K in two weeks. I need to quit promising people that I will run races with them and then forgetting about it. Granted, it's only 5 miles. But I hate running 5 miles at a mediocre pace. In fact, I hate doing anything mediocre. Maybe that's why I gets so depressed all the time.

Climb On

So I will be climbing Mt. St. Helens this summer. Sounds like it could be fun. 

Chris Brown makes me Pun Happy

Chris Brown sent Rihanna an iPod Touch for her birthday. Considering the circumstances, he probably should have sent her an iPod No Touch. Or better yet, an iPod Quit Punching Me In The Face. Those aren't expected to hit the streets until early next year, but I'm sure Chris could get his hands on one. He's got plenty of solid connections.

**check out all of my cheesy puns. They're italicized. 

Great Viral Commercial:

Did You Know?

I always thought that energy drink were super bad for you. Granted, they're not the best for you, but they're no worse for you that a 20-ounce Coke - regarding calories, sugar, etc. A 20-ounce Coke has 65 grams of sugar and 240 calories while a 16-ounce Full Throttle energy drinks contains 57 grams of sugar and 220 calories. The energy drink does double the Coke in the sodium department at 160mg and has just over 2 times the caffeine at 141mg. But all in all, that's not a huge difference.

I'm not saying that they are good for you, but in comparison, drink up.

Bowling? Kind of.

I went bowling last night. Dropped a solid 100 followed by a 95. Wow! I can't remember the last time I sucked that hard at bowling. I guess I can scratch 'be a professional bowler' off my list of things to do. No sense in wasting my time.

Fortunately, it tired my arm out enough to make me money from the three-point line during my city league basketball game. Awwwe, the silver lining.

Mayday, Mayday.

What's up with all of these planes dropping out of the sky? Luckily, the total fatalities is way down, but it's still a little disheartening. 

iStereo iPod Docking Station

I bought the iStereo Docking Station at Wal-Mart this weekend for $49.88 and crossed my fingers. You see, I'm by-and-large a cheapskate. I needed some form of stereo in my living room but didn't want to fork out a lot of coin for one - $50 was my limit. Unfortunately, at this price point you're bound to find more rough than diamonds. Hence the crossing of my fingers. After a limited search of Fred Meyer, Circuit City, and Target, I finally found what I was looking for at the Wally's World. 

Observations:

The iStereo is considerably heavier than all of the other options at this price. It may not mean a thing, but it sure feels like it will work better because of it. The wood grain finish actually looks pretty nice. Unfortunately, it has no CD player, so your totally bound to your iPod's playlist - not a big deal for me. It has a remote that works well. And finally, it produces a pretty darned good sound for $50 speakers. 

All in all, if you're looking for a cheap set of docking speakers that look more expensive than they really are, I would totally recommend the iStereo. Granted, I've only had it for one weekend. It might break tomorrow. But as of now, I'm happy with my bargain purchase.

Probably one of my favorite possessions.

I love my John Wayne coffee mug. It's 20 ounces of ass kickin' goodness. 

Oscars Smoscars.

Don't get me wrong, 'Slumdog Millionaire' was good, but not Best Picture good. It was cute and fun but that's about it. 

Why Soccer Sucks.

You should never work your tail off for 90 minutes and have to go home with a tie (or a draw as they call it). That is fundamentally flawed. You compete to either win or lose, plain and simple. 

Even golf makes competitors play until someone comes out on top. Golf! Soccer, did you realize you're a bigger nancy than golf? Do you just not want to have anybody's feelings get hurt, or are you too much of a pansy to finish a game?

I admit that soccer is hard and exhausting. But I'm also not scared to say that if you're happy with a draw in any sport, you might as well be giving out purple participation ribbons instead of trophies. 

Nike, behave.

I'm sick of writing campaign ideas at work and having Nike come out with them the next day. I don't know if I should be pissed because I'm one step behind a corporate giant or excited because I'm only one step behind a corporate giant.

Or maybe my computer is bugged, and they're listening to everything I have to say. 

Side Note

I'm not writing reviews on energy drinks because I want to be as cool as all of the blogs that are devoted to such reviews. I'm actually researching them for work, and I figured I could kill two birds with one stone. 

Suck on some granite sea gull and crow.

SoBe Energy:

My quest to research a variety of energy drinks has led me to the lizard. SoBe energy drinks as we know them have been discontinued, and I’m now among the mourners.  Adrenaline Rush has a light, crisp passion fruit flavor that goes down easy. It ventures far from the traditional energy drink taste (Red Bull/Rock Star) by delivering fruity bliss.

A 16-ounce can is packed with 66 grams of sugar (ouch) and 260 calories. It also has plenty of taurine, B vitamins, D-ribose, and L-carnitine. Like most energy drinks, it full of artificial ingredients. But compared to a cola, it’s not that bad.

Adrenaline Rush proved to be a delicious pick-me-up without a horrendous crash. Word on the street is that SoBe has dropped its name on the product because it was hindering sales. However, SoBe continues to make energy drinks. It’s just under the No Fear label. 

Duffel Bag or Duffle Bag?

That's a trick question. According to the online dictionary it can be spelled both ways. Nothing drives me nuts more than when the rules of grammar can be twisted. Pick a spelling Webster. Give me a right and a wrong so I can move on with my life. This same dilemma comes up with commas all of the time. Nearly half of the rules are either suggestions or user's choice. I think I'm going to write my own book on grammar where there are definitive rules. No one gets to slide by anymore. Duffle is spelled with an 'le' and use must always use a comma before the 'and' in a list of three or more items. Done!

Doom and Gloom

I know the economy is lagging, but the media is making it worse by beating it into the ground. It's just like the gas crisis we faced this last summer. Things are bad enough, but when the media shoves negative story after negative story down our throats, it makes it seem much worse than it really is. The result is a snowball effect of fear smothering our spending, which perpetuates the downturn. 

Take the wife and I for example. We have largely been unaffected by the recession. But every time I think about buying something, I stop and think, "well what if I lose my job? What if my life goes to hell tomorrow?" And the only reason it crosses my mind is because every article I read is telling me that this is going to happen.

Sure, we won't be selling our house anytime soon and we lost a little in our stocks. But we have a place to live, and we didn't plan on using our retirement anytime soon anyway. I know some people have been crippled by the economic downturn and that sucks, but the media is helping the cause with their constant doom and gloom. It's scaring off those who actually have the ability to spend. And we won't be able to right the ship until the willing and able start opening their wallets.

Change is Fun!

According to a recent news article President Barack Obama approved adding some 17,000U.S. troops for the flagging war in Afghanistan.

I wouldn't say I'm for or against the wars in the Middle East. I'm all about keeping America safe, and I put my faith in the President to make the decisions that do that. At the same time, I find it interesting that you can run a campaign predicated on pulling troops out of Iraq but piggy back it with sending them to Afghanistan.

Maybe I'm just ill-informed, but I remember an awful lot of people protesting our overseas involvement. I guess we'll see if those voices remain silent now that it is Obama calling for the troops.

I also have to wonder if it was just a coincidence that he signed the economic stimulus plan on the same day he announced the troop surge. A little slight of hand...maybe.

Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist

While tacking a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon, the wife and I decided to give ‘Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist’ a shot. The story revolves around two high school kids who are connected by mutual friends but have never met until a chance encounter brings them together in NYC.

The young actors handled their roles nicely. The supporting cast was quirky but fun, and the screenplay was solid enough. Ari Graynor, the drunken friend, stole most of the scenes she was in while Michael Cera’s band mates walked the line of being just too gay. 

All in all, it was a good movie that came together nicely. Granted, a bottle of wine always ramps up my acceptance of cute and cliché, but I think this high school love story would hold up on a wine-free night as well.

Coming Attractions

I just saw a preview for 'Gomorrah,' an Italian film about the mafioso directed by Matteo Gorrone. It looks intense. Check it out.

Irony Makes a Comeback!

An Islamic man who started a television station aimed at countering Muslim stereotypes in upstate New York was just arrested for beheading his wife. OOPS!

I threw my back out doing nothing. This sucks.

Dunk Contest

The new-age dunk contest is depressing. Not because these guys can't dunk, but because we've reached the pinnacle of athleticism in regards to dunking already. When the dunk contest first blew up on the national stage, we were just breaking into the creative side of basketball. The Jordans and Dominiques were carrying the torch from the old school post up game to the new school finesse style of play. 

We've seen just about all the human body is capable of in regards to dunking, which is evident in the last couple of dunk contests where the winner became victorious through the use of props. Superman capes, green shoes, birthday candles? I get the showmanship of it all, but it lacks the soul of the game. 

Combine that with the fact that the biggest names in the NBA don't even want to compete, and you've got yourself a yawn-fest that lacks parody. How do you fix it? I'm not sure. Maybe you have height categories to put ballers on an even playing field. Maybe you list out mandatory props to see how creative each player is by comparison. Maybe you have rims at different heights and allot a different rating system for each. I don't have the exact answer, but there's one out there.

The fact remains that the street side of the game has reached a height that's hard to one-up. The players have changed. It's time for the game to catch up. Winning WWII was predicated on the idea of not letting technology out-progress war tactics. It's a ridiculous comparison, but the basic idea still applies.