Jackassalope

A Mediocre Victory!

I finally redeemed myself. After three years in a row of coming in almost last place in my Oscar party pick ‘em pool, I finally struck pay dirt. Except for we don’t put any money on the results, so I didn’t really get paid… And if we did pay to play we wouldn’t be using valuable ore as our choice of currency, which means it really wouldn’t be classified as dirt. But if we had and if we did then I would have… I think that expression is slightly outdated.

Regardless, I did take home the plastic trophy to prove that this year I was the ultimate Oscarictorian. Granted I only got 15 categories correct (16 if my drunken scoring would have been official), but that was enough to end the night on top; me and “No Country.”
Of course now that I’ve said it out loud I’m not that happy with my performance. In fact a mere 15 correct may have only got me second place at best for the last three years. I don’t have access to the official numbers, mind you, but I fear that perhaps the records would show that the rest of the field simply flopped this year rather than me rising above.

But a win is a win, just ask the Giants. I’ll have to take solace knowing that even though I didn’t set the field ablaze with unparalleled insight; at least I didn’t sink to the bottom either. I guess being consistently average means that every once and a while you come out on top. Even a blind squirrel finds a nut on occasion.

Lucas Burt