Pass the Popcorn: Chloe

Amanda Seyfried and Jullianne Moore are both naked throughout, and yet, I still can't recommend Chloe. Of course, Jullianne Moore has always made me want to stick a fork in my eye. What has this year of cinema come to? I was neither intrigued or in suspense.

Boshee

My 3-year-old daughter named our new car Boshee. I don't know what it means. I either feel less imaginative because I would never have come up with such a name or less intelligent because there's a good chance she knows Chinese...I obviously need to watch more Nick Jr.

I'm Confused

Last night, my sister-in-law tried to convince me that going to an art school won't make you a better artist because the validity of an artistic expression is solely based on the person viewing it. I contended that schooling gives people the basic foundation to hone their skills, making them more likely to be well received, and thus better. She balked at the idea.

I gave up trying to make a point after my wife told me to shut it. Of course, I didn't have the heart to ask my sister-in-law why she was going to dance classes then. After all, dance is an artistic expression and learning the basic fundamentals won't make you better.

Is that a threat?

My 3-year-old daughter told me that she didn't want me to go to work today. I said that I had to anyway. She thought about it, looked around the room through the corner of her eyes, and replied, "But if you get injured, then you won't be able to work."

I think I will sleep with one eye open tonight.

Reality Check

I've been getting down on myself because my kids are getting bigger, my house is getting smaller, and my neighborhood is taking it's sweet time on getting better. The wife and I wanted out. We wanted some new digs where our kids could run free in cul-de-sacs and our neighbors actually mowed their lawns. Then I realized how whiny we were being.

Reality check. We have a house, we can pay our bills, and we both have jobs. So suck it up and quit bitching Lucas. That's what I told myself. And myself listened. Now I'm happier. Thank you Tony Robbins and your new cheesy-ass show that actually effected me.

Relax

The last couple of months have been a whirlwind of work and more work. Of course, I can always find solace in wine, my trusty friend.

Pass the Popcorn

Date Night: As funny as expected. And even funnier if you've been married for awhile with kids.

The Losers: Yes they were. This movie lacked any sort of climax during every single scene. That's actually really hard to do. Congrats on being that noncommittal.

The Ghost Writer: Merely okay. You know it's been a slow movie year when half of the movies the critics recommend are lackluster... and they admit it.

Punch Drunk

LeGarrette Blount needs to quit punching people in the face and then acting like he's the cock of the walk. Seriously, it's not even the punch that bothers me. It's the instantaneous backpedaling, chest pumping, and arm waving that is annoying.

His mannerisms are exactly the same as they were after he hit the Boise guy, which makes it appear like he hasn't changed a bit. His first instinct is to swing. His second instinct is to puff out his chest and keep talking. It's actually pathetic.

But don't tell him I said that! He might track me down and clock me in the face.

A reason to be proud

I was at the park with Sophia, my 3-year-old daughter, this weekend when a 4-year-old little girl decided she wanted to be friends. Before long I was playing double duty parent while her mom sat disinterested on the sidelines. During our second stint on the swings, Sophia looked at me and said, "When I grow up, I want to be a doctor."

The other little girl replied, "When I grow up, I want to be a fire hydrant."

I was quick to respond, "Well, they both help people in a time of need." But on the inside, I was glad my daughter didn't want to be a receptacle for dog piss. Good job kiddo.

Pass the Popcorn: Inception

Inception is a good piece of film making - interesting story, decent acting, and great set pieces. But is it as good as most people are trying to convince themselves it is? Probably not. Is it a lot better than anything else that came out this year? Yes.

A summer of duds has helped Inception to rise above its short falls and slightly annoying ending. But it's definitely worth seeing, and that's all that really matters.

Passing Out with Style

I saw a story on the news last night about a dude who passed out drunk on the road. I’ve only done that once. It was back in my college days, which makes sense – or at least it makes me feel a tiny bit justified. But here’s the difference between my story and the other dude who came-to half naked in the gutter.

I woke up nestled in some bushes, wrapped in quilt. I was almost comfortable. This begs the question, was I even ‘passed out’ drunk. I think not. I’m mean, let’s really look at this. Even if I was three-sheets to the wind, I had the wherewithal to take a quilt with me when I left the house.

Sure, I had one or twelve too many, but as I stepped out the door, I at least thought to myself, “hey you, there’s a good chance you’re not going to make it to wherever you plan on going. Why don’t you take a blanket just in case.”

Of course, that also brings up the Neo and the vase scenario. Had I not brought a blanket with me, would I have still given up and laid down or just kept trudging along? I guess we will never know.