Kristen Wiig

Thank you, GQ. Kristen Wiig is the hottest funny chick around. But with all of those i's in her name, she should really think about replacing the e in Kristen with another i.

Demetri Martin = Funny

I'm surprised it took me this long to stumble across this cat. He's good at what he does, and he inspires me to make charts.

Talking Funny

Comedians Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, Ricky Gervais, and Louis CK have a round table discussion about their craft in HBO's Talking Funny. This was a really enjoyable show that provided great insights on the differences between comedians and what makes a joke funny.

Proof that money is the root of all evil

Kim Kardashian just made released an album. So far in life, she has proven that she can't act and can't sing. I'm still wondering what she can do. Oh, to have a trust fund.

Money for Nothing.

I heard Dire Straits' Money for Nothing today. That song is awesome. Seriously, I want my MTV; you don't get a better product placement than that. Remember when MTV was actually cool enough to write a song about - back when the video killed the radio star.Those were the days.

I'm surprised no body has written "Pandora murdered the VJ" yet. Music videos like we grew up watching are all but dead, and I blame MTV. Nowadays, MTV thrives off of horrible reality shows and God knows what else. They left the music by the wayside. It makes my heart cry a little.

Reality Check

I've been getting down on myself because my kids are getting bigger, my house is getting smaller, and my neighborhood is taking it's sweet time on getting better. The wife and I wanted out. We wanted some new digs where our kids could run free in cul-de-sacs and our neighbors actually mowed their lawns. Then I realized how whiny we were being.

Reality check. We have a house, we can pay our bills, and we both have jobs. So suck it up and quit bitching Lucas. That's what I told myself. And myself listened. Now I'm happier. Thank you Tony Robbins and your new cheesy-ass show that actually effected me.

Good Old 70s Problem Solving! Blow It Up.

Lost!?* (Spoiler Alert) I think.

I watched the first episode of Lost six years ago and the second half of the last episode. I don't feel like I missed out on much. 

After watching the pilot and hearing the rumblings of fans, I was pretty sure the whole ordeal would be a purgatory situation where everyone had to tackle their demons in order to move on. I think I was right. Of course, I missed a lot of the middle there, so I can't be sure. Then again, I don't know if the dedicated viewers can even be sure.

Nike Touts Best Ad Ever?

 Nope. Wrong. It's got some great moments, but the casual fan gets lost in the storyline. A great ad captivates, motivates, and grips the core, enrolls the casual, and inspires the fringe. The specific athlete stories in this ad don't translate to those beyond the core. It would have more impact if were broken up into three or four separate pieces and run as individual spots in a campaign. The casual and fringe consumers wouldn't get as confused but still get wrapped up in the action. It's a montage of cliche soccer scenes mixed with too many stories. Good but not great.

What's Up, Bra!

Joel McHale of The Soup and NBC's Community is a funny dude who's obviously taken his role as the suave community college funnyman seriously. Wow, that was a lot of adjectives. Since landing the role, he's gotten increasinly ripped. Not that I try to pay attention to that sort of thing, but let's be honest; the dude has his shirt off in every episode. He is now creepily buff and looks like he's sporting man boobs. Buff man boobs, but man boobs nonetheless.

Joel McHale, I like the funny but lay off the bench press. Your pecks are taking over and it's creeping me out.

The History Channel's Pawn Stars

It's the Antique Road Show for the MTV generation. At first glance you would think, "really, a show about dudes in a pawn shop." But after watching Rick Harrison and his Old Man, you realize that these guys are more than just average Joes. They're actually really smart. Of course, just to balance it out, we get to see Rick's son and his childhood friend man the front of the store; two characters that are below average Joes.

The premiss is simple. People bring in odd items to sell. Rick appraises each unique item and makes an offer. But it's more than just a transaction. With each purchase, we get to learn a little bit about the history of the products ranging from 1700s money to a 1960 Les Paul Custom. Did you know that they didn't started crafting the Les Pauls with a two-piece body until 1969. Well they did. And that bit of information could mean the difference between a $3,000 guitar and $100,000 one.

The King Has Died

Regardless of whether or not you’re a movie buff, you probably recognize the voice of Don LaFontaine. He was not only the king of the movie trailer voice over (in a world where..), but he also lent his vocal talents to over 300,000 radio and TV commercials. His voice was so popular that he even started spoofing himself in Geico ads and TV shows. Unfortunately he died today. He was 68-years-old.

The New Hollywood Craze

The last couple of years in Hollywood were devoted to celebrities having babies, adopting kids, or both. This year’s craze; car crashes. It seems like anybody who’s anybody in Hollywood is totaling a vehicle. Morgan Freeman, Shia Lebeouf, the Beckhams; all have been involved in some sort of wreck in the past month. And these aren’t your run of the mill Britney being mobbed by paparazzi fender benders. They came complete with torqued metal, broken bones, and hospital visits. Hopefully tinsel town knows about Allstate’s accident forgives plan. Perhaps next year’s Hollywood fad should be driving lessons.

Mr. T. Feels Bad

Mr. T. said that he didn’t want to offend anyone with his recent Snickers ads. He reiterated that they weren’t meant to be malicious by any means. He understands Snickers position on pulling the TV and radio spots and hopes the public realizes they were only meant to be funny.

Afterwards I tracked him down and threw some Snickers at his face for being a wuss and expressing his feelings. Real men don’t have feelings Mr. T. Get some nuts!

Get Some Nuts

The new Snickers campaign pits Mr. T against numerous Nancy-boy types. He’s armed with Snickers bars and the slogan “Get Some Nuts.” Basically it all boils down to acting like a man. Don’t speed-walk in short shorts, don’t do yoga, don’t cry at movies, and all of that jazz. Of course, the gay rights activists have started a feeding frenzy. To this I say “give it a rest.”

Yes, I know you have a plight. There are people out there that don’t agree with the lifestyle or its moral implications. Those are real issues. These ads aren’t. The bottom line is that there are many straight men that do all of these things to. The ad isn’t saying “don’t be gay.” It is saying “act like a man.” It’s playing off the stereotypes of how men used to act. It’s doing the same thing the Old Spice commercials do.

I don’t like the direction political correctness censorship is heading. There’s a reason a lot of stand up comics use this type of material in their jokes; it’s funny. It’s not malicious. It’s not vindictive. It’s humor. I’m a man’s man from Montana, but I’m also a little metrosexual. Should I be pissed off to? No one is defined by one thing, and we should be allowed to poke fun at our differences.

Talent?

Why do people like America’s Got Talent? I’ve tried to watch this show on several occasions to no avail. I find most of the acts boring, the judges listless, and the story lines trite. I was inspired by two 30-second promo spots and was immediately let down by their lame episode counterparts. I just can’t quite figure out why it holds the top ratings week in and week out. If American Idol is a glorified Karaoke contest, then America’s Got Talent is nothing more than a puffed up summer camp talent show. Both of which, are very forgettable.

Thank You Weatherman

I find it slightly hilarious that weathermen feel the need to stand in the eye of a storm to report the status of approaching hurricanes. I was reminded about this oddity this morning as I watched a national weatherman stand in whipping winds and pelting rain to let us know that whipping winds and pelting rain are targeting Texas. Interestingly enough, he could have just told me about the weather, and I would have gotten the idea. If he really wanted to impress me, he could have shown me some footage from a traffic camera. But nope, weather men feel the need to prove their worth to world. They have to measure up to investigative journalists who go to great lengths to get the story. They need to compare to the reporters imbedded with troops in Iraq, or that one host who was stabbed on the show “Cheaters.”

Did you see the footage of Al Roker getting blown over by hurricane winds a couple of years ago? Yes, even Mr. Roker feels the pressure. Regardless of how hard they try, they are still weathermen. They explain too much, are right too little, and typically aren’t that funny. But fight on Mr. Weatherman. Prove your worth to me and the world. Dodge windblown debris. Trudge through feet of water, and show me that rain.

Coming Up!

Why do we have to sit through two minutes of “coming up after the break” during every segment of a reality TV show? To make matters worse, we have to sit through another two minutes of “what happened before the break” when the show resumes. I know it’s reality TV, which means it’s typically light on story, heavy on filler, but don’t tell me what you’re going to show me right after the commercial. It’s a waste of time. I’m not going to stayed glued to the TV waiting to see if what they just said is going to happen will actually happen. If anything, it makes me want to change the channel even more. If you don’t have enough storyline to fill each segment then hire better writers.

Coming up tomorrow, Lucas will writer another blog. Stay tuned!

“Wipeout” is good clean fun

ABC’s summer show “Wipeout” works on many different levels. Okay, well it really only works on one level; watching people fall, tumble, get thrown around, and sometimes punched in the face. The show is an obvious copy of Japan’s “MXC” (Most Extreme Challenge), which can be seen on Spike TV, but lives up to the comedic banter and unexpected face plants of its predecessor.

I have to admit, 10 minutes into the first episode I wasn’t completely sold on this remake of a timeless classic, which is actually a redubbed remake of a Japanese original. Don’t worry, I’ll draw you a picture later. Regardless, the “punching wall” and “big balls” finally won me over. There’s nothing like watching a 50-year-old cougar take one on the chin and nose dive into a pit of mud.

“Talk Soup’s” previous host (back when it was actually called Talk Soup), John Henson, adds witty one-liners, while ESPN’s John Anderson gives the commentary a familiar sport’s tone. Contestant interviewer, Jill Wagner, rounds out the cast and brings a series of uncontrolled laughs and smirks to every cut-away shot.

All in all, the original “MXC” is hard to beat, but “Wipeout” gives it a run for its money. There’s a possibility this summer novelty won’t stick around too long, so enjoy its humor at someone else’s expense while you can.

Deadwood Revelations

Isn’t it odd that taking a bath nowadays is thought of as being effeminate when in the 1800s that’s how a lot of rough and tumble cowboys got clean? Taking a piping hot bath with a whiskey and cigar by your side was considered indulgent and looked forward to.

For the sake of boosting my anti-oxidants I’ve replaced whiskey with red wine. And because I’m not partial to smoking, I’ve replace cigars with a rubber ducky (okay, it’s my kids rubber ducky). Regardless, if it were the 1800s, I would be considered one lucky badass cowboy. Yup, that’s right; I’ll take my baths if I want to. And if you cross me, you just might have to answer to the hot end of steel barrel (and no, that is not a sexual reference).