Jackassalope

Thanks China.

I would like to thank China for making Americans look like they’re not that bad after all. In the Olympic opening ceremony a young girl sang Ode to the Motherland for the world to hear. Unfortunately for her, she wasn’t good looking enough to actually be seen. The Chinese organizers decided to have a better looking girl lip-sync to the 7-year-old as the Chinese flag entered the arena.

In America, even though we warp young girl’s minds on a daily basis with supermodel ads and commercials, we at least let the ugly ones sing if they wish (that sounds harsh – it’s supposed to be funny). We’ve proved our ability to care about the inept by making America’s Got Talent the number one show of the summer.

So thanks China for making us look better. Thank you America for giving the ugly and talentless a stage to perform on. And let’s also give thanks to the Internet for giving me a platform to bash on everyone else, so I can feel better about my pathetic life. Applause all around.