Jackassalope

I’m a man. What’s it to ya?

I recently read an article claiming that no self-respecting man would be caught dead buying or drinking Michelob Ultra, at least no self-respecting non-metrosexual. I found this interesting. Why? Because I drink Michelob Ultra. I also own a chainsaw, a 4x4 truck, power tools, and guns. I watch football, go to the gym, and camp. I grew up in Montana, was a wild-land firefighter for 3 years, and worked at a damn. Basically, I’m not much of a metrosexual. In fact, I would consider myself a very self-respecting man. 

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy microbrews too. But I also think that you don’t have to don a beer gut to be considered a man. You can enjoy a light, crisp beer without getting full and still look at yourself in the mirror every day. Hell, I also enjoy a bottle wine half the time. So to all of those who think you can’t be a man and drink an Ultra, come on over to my house. I will whoop your ass and follow it up with an Ultra. 

On that same note, there are a couple of things I don’t feel manly when I do. The first is using Chapstick. Doing manly things usually puts you in harsh environmental conditions that chap your lips, but there’s something about puckering up that just doesn’t feel right. The second is using the elliptical at the gym. Sure, it’s supposed to be gentle on your joints, but I feel a little ‘off’ gliding back and forth.