Jackassalope

Michael Crabtree: 4+4 = 0
After conferring with his advisor and cousin David Wells, #10 NFL draft pick Michael Crabtree has decided to make $0 next year instead of $4 million. Wells, a self proclaimed Rain Man, claims that if you take the square root of a desired salary times pi and divide it by the number of years Michael Jackson was black then 4 hens in the tree are greater than 1 in your hand. Crabtree approved this logic by not firing his cousin and stating that “Dustin Hoffman is a really smart dude.”

In a related story, Texas Techs math department is under full review.