Jackassalope

Probably not true since I made it up

Is it possible that injury prone Carson Palmer of the Bengals is actually health resistant? Some sources say yes, Carson Palmer actually has a mutated virus that fights off good health in professional athletes. Palmer was more than likely infected at USC since subsequent draft busts Matt Leinart and Reggie Bush have also tested positive for the virus. Of course, Leinart claims that he's only guilty of being too fun and that a cream can cure the itch.

However, a local doctor said this particular virus strain is smart based on the fact that it doesn't start damaging healthy athletes until they sign big contracts. That doctor also went on to say that a rogue group of aliens abducted him when he was twelve, forcing him to scientifically probe sea monkeys for hours on end, which was the reason he turned to the medical field as an adult.

"It's nice to know I'm not just a raging vagina that gets hurt all of the time. I have a disease that affects many over-paid athletes every year," Palmer may have been over heard saying, but probably not.

Until further tests are conducted, we can only assume that these athletes just don't have what it takes to perform in the big leagues. But as the list of suspected victims continues to grow with names McNabb and the entire Broncos running core, we can't help but start to believe the monkey probing doctor.