NBA Update

The Suns suck, and the Mavs are worse. So much for the underdogs on Tuesday night.

Dare Dolphins

Two dolphins collided during a jumping stunt over the weekend, killing one and injuring the other. We all know that when a dolphin lives the life of a SeaWorld performer, it’s like playing Russian roulette. Every trick comes with risk. But after the recent death of a 30-year-old dolphin named Sharky, you have to ask yourself, “Was this an accident or the only way out?”

SeaWorld spokesperson, Becca Bides, says this was a very rare and unfortunate incident, but does it go deeper than that? I’m just wondering if after years of service, maybe Sharky couldn't take it anymore. The entertainment industry puts a lot of pressure on its stars, and sometimes they can’t cope. I’m sure the second dolphin was reluctant at first, but it’s hard to ignore Sharky’s convincing charm. One last stunt, in front of one last crowd, that’s how Sharky wanted to go. If he was never going to experience the open ocean again, then he would rather be swimming in the wild blue yonder.

It’s a sad day when dolphins start entering into suicide packs, but even animals have their limits. This phenomenon also comes in the form of suicide by cops. Some animals will attack their trainers, knowing the only way out is by animal control’s sweet retribution. Sharky, I feel your pain as I type in my cubicle. Your free spirit will be remembered.

Look Ma, I’m the punch line of my own joke!

The ever declining state of humanity was reinforced today by the discovery that Josef Fritzl fathered his own grandchildren. But wait, there’s more! Not only did he father six of his daughter’s children, but he did so while she was held captive under his own home for 24 years. He mailed fake letters to himself posing as his daughter so family members wouldn’t suspect her absence, and then told them she had abandoned her children on his doorstep. There’s a lot of different ways to get a first-class ticket to hell. Josef Fritzl, you can pick yours up at will call.

Apparently Fritzl’s wife didn’t know about his secret dealings with the devil either, which makes her the spokesperson for seeing only what you want to see. She also still believes in Santa Claus, despite the fact, she fills her own stocking every Christmas. It’s not that I don’t believe her, I just don’t believe her. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go and put this plate of food under my house.

Calamari for 10,000 Please

Who needs the Lock Ness Monster when this guy can haunt your dreams?

Scientists are prepping to study a ginormous squid that was caught by a fishing crew in Antarctica last January. This 900-pound specimen is 30-feet long and has eyes the size of dinner plates. The carcass has been floating a giant tank of ice water as scientist try to decide the best way to examine it. They’re assuming they’ll only have four hours with the squid before it starts to decompose. Hmmm, delicious; there’s nothing like the stench of 900-pounds of seafood rotting to make you want to work faster. It would be an understatement to say that I’m glad I don’t have that job.

With clawed tentacles and a sharp beak, this giant squid gives us a new reason to avoid going back into the water. At least a shark will tear you up rather quickly, as apposed to being pecked at by a giant black beak. I spell a Sci-Fi channel original movie coming on.

Epitaph

I now know my epitaph will read “Handyman, Landscaper, and Humanitarian.” That about sums it all up, for today anyway.

A Different Angle

If our best laid plans only show up in the rearview mirror, have we gone too far?

Touché

Why is it that actions speak louder than words, but the pen is still mightier than the sword?

$5 Headache

When is genius just wrong or even mean? When it come in the form of an advertisement. But not just any ad, one with a jingle and cheesy actors. It’s like when Ricky Martin sang “Shake your bon bon, shake your bon bon.” I still wake up singing those ridiculous lines. No Ricky, I don’t want to shake my bon bon, and I don’t want you to be my Latin lover. And now I’m tormented by a new pain and misery. It comes in the form of a $5 foot-long.

Subway’s new commercial is getting back to their roots. They’re attacking their foot-long subs slacking sales (I’m alliterative) head on. If you can’t out wit the consumer, then beat them over the head until they submit. That is not a quote from the ad firm, but it might as well could be.

Yes, I understand its simplicity. Yes, it gets back to Subway’s roots of selling the foot-long. Yes, I know its genius, but if I never have to see or hear it again that will be too soon. It just repeats itself over and over again, $5 foot-long, $5 foot-long, $5 foot-long. The deal had better only go on for a limited time, as promised by the ad, or I just may FREAK OUT.

So please excuse me while I go shake my bon bon.

Monkey See, Monkey Do

Fifteen monkeys are loose in Lakeland, Flo. today after a fire forced them to swim across a pond to safety. Wildlife officials are baffled about the escape because the monkeys aren’t supposed to be able to swim… An animal just below us on the evolutional chain, that has reasoning skills, relationship association, and two arms and two legs, isn’t supposed to be able to swim? Do these guys know that elephants can swim? Are they aware that hippopotamuses in all of their lard-assed glory are practically water polo experts? Of course monkeys can swim. Just because they don’t do it for fun, doesn’t mean it can’t be done.

In order to retrieve the escaped monkeys, wildlife officials are pulling out all of the stops. Due to the primate’s elusive nature, they are going to lay out bananas and sweet potatoes in the same spot for a couple of days and try to net the animals when they get close. I employed this same tactic when trying to catch leprechauns every St. Patrick’s Day eve. Then again, I was five. I can order clothes through a touch sensitive window at a retail storefront, but these guys have to use bananas and nets to catch escaped monkeys. Maybe we should go to Afghanistan with 70 virgins and put them in front of mountain caves in order to catch Osama Bin Laden.

Another No Brainer

A recent study suggests that our brains are hardwired to not like losing. When we beat those that are supposed to be better than we are, our brain reacts with excitement in its action planning region. When we lose to someone who is supposed to be inferior, we react with emotional pain and frustration. Wow!

Once again, the scientists and researchers have unlocked a painfully obvious mystery. All of this time I was wondering why I loved winning and hated losing. Now I know it’s because my brain controls my emotions. Go figure. If they can only look into how my blood gets pumped through my body, all of life’s enigmas will be solved.

But why stop there? I would still like to know why water is wet, why it gets hotter during the summer, and why shorter people aren’t as tall as tall people. That one still gets me. It would be different if they discovered some of this information while trying to cure cancer or even while trying to make a better tasting pizza; something with some value attached to it. But no, they actually funded a test in order to find this out. I guess the next thing we need to figure out is where all of this country’s money is going to. Surely, it’s not to overpriced, unnecessary research projects.

I have one shiny ear drum, and one that is not so shiny. That makes me sad.

I'm Strepped

In case you were wondering, your body can cure itself of strep throat. It may take a little longer, but antibiotics aren’t an absolute necessity. I found this out today. As long as you can deal with the fever, chills, body aches, sore throat, headache, and ear aches, your body just kind of figures it out.

I was also told by my doctor that even if you’re taking antibiotics you can still be contagious if you have symptoms. The whole 24 hour and you’re in the clear thing isn’t stand pat, so it’s wise to avoid orgy make out sessions and deal making spit handshakes. Finally, you may all feel privileged to know that strep throat is just as contagious as a cold or a flu, so the same precautions should be taken for all.

That being said, if you read online that if you have strep and don’t get meds, it will more than likely take 21 days for symptoms to subside, or if left untreated you may get scarlet fever, you can relax. This rarely happens. And just because you didn’t go to doctor four days ago when you were on your death bed doesn’t mean being in the office today is going to bring a plague upon break room. So you don’t have to freak out when all of your co-workers look at you with the stink eye, rush to the doctor, and waste a $25 co-pay just to find this out. That would be exhausting and waste a good portion of your day.

Float On

I listened to "Float On" by Modest Mouse today. That song is awesome. It's got a great beat, quirky inspirational lyrics, and is just fun to listen to. I'm not a huge fan of Modest Mouse as a whole, but the songs they get right, they absolutely nail. Check em out.

This picture of Malinda and I always makes me smile.

Interestingly, we weren't even posing. We may still be posers though.

Sticking It to the Man

The cable company almost got me. Well, they got me for one month anyway. I signed up for my Internet and telephone service with Comcast about eight months ago. They gave me one of those six month promo deals where I got unlimited Internet access and unlimited long distance phone service for $45 a month. Of course after six months the rates double. Our first bill was $95. Ouch!

Naturally, I was going to call and cancel the phone service because it was more of a luxury then a necessity. Not to mention, it was ridiculously over priced. As the story goes I forgot to call the first month and we paid the bill. I almost forgot this month as well, until one of their door-to-door salesmen showed up today and tried to upgrade my service. I laughed (internally, so that not to be rude). I then immediately called Comcast to cancel my phone service. It’s funny how their aggressive sales nature actually cost them money. Who’s the man now dog?

Anyway, I wasn’t going to give in completely. So when I called I let the customer service rep know that the only reason I was canceling my service was because the price was simply way too high for how much I used the phone. She immediately showed her cards by giving me both services for $53 a month; funny how that works out. It wasn’t really even a negotiation. I said jump, she said how high, and we both moved on.

It just goes to show you how being on top of you bills can save you some cash. It’s also a reminder that you don’t have to pay what companies say you have to pay. They know they’re overpriced and you have a choice in service providers. When push comes to shove, they’re more than willing to negotiate. So take that “the man.” You didn’t get me this time. You can put that bill in your proverbial pipe and metaphorically smoke it.

Summer Lovin'

The wife and I usually don’t have time to experience the stadium seating and the Dolby Digital surround sound of our neighborhood Cineplex. Having a kiddo means we usually get excited about new releases three months after they land in theaters (blockbuster’s total access is my mistress). But since the summer movie season is about to kick off, I think I’m going to make a few big screen exceptions for the following films.

Iron Man – Coming out May 2nd, this comic book remake kicks off the studio’s tent pole season. Even though I never read the comics as a kid, this character has a certain appeal. It promises explosions and excitement combined with an all-star cast, which is probably one of the most over used phrases when describing a group of actors and I promise to never use it again. Regardless, Robert Downey Jr. is a kick in almost everything he does. The graphics look crisp and as long as there’s not too much set up, it should be a fun ride.

Indiana Jones – Opening May 22nd, this is the fourth installment of Spielberg’s immensely popular take on the action-packed treasure hunting genre. Without Indiana Jones there would be no “The Mummy” or “National Treasure.” Growing up watching Harrison Ford battle voodoo priests and the Nazis with nothing more than a whip and a fancy hat, is what childhoods are made of. Adding Shia LeBeouf (his name means the beef in French) to the cast will make for an entertaining ride that should definitely be experienced on the big screen, if for nothing more than pure nostalgia.

Wall·E will land in theaters on June 27th. This Pixar animation will surely rake in the cash since the studio has never experienced the bitter taste of failure. Even though it’s supposed to be one of their riskier ventures (combining minimal dialogue with more realistic graphics), I have no doubt that they figured out how to make it work. And since my kid might be old enough to sit through an entire movie, it’s the perfect time to introduce her to Pixar CG crack. Delicious.

The Dark Knight flies into theaters on July 18th. Despite all of the attention this movie will get because of Heath Ledger’s death, I still think it will deliver. The Batman series was revived when Batman Begins gritty style showed audiences how comic remakes should be made. This one will be no different. I was impressed by Ledger’s take on the Joker just from the trailers. His choice of inspirations (the main character in Clockwork Orange) should bring a creepy persona to the screen. His death has only heightened the public’s awareness, but the performances stay the same. Now we shall see if the movie can overcome the hype.

Unexpected Sequels – I knew they were going to make a new X-Files movie. I just didn’t realize the time had come. Even though I’ve never really cared about finding the truth, I’m sure this sci-fi will find its audience. The new installment hits theaters July 25th. The Mummy; Tomb of the Dragon Emperor comes out August 1st, and I have to admit that I’m excited for it to grace the new release wall at Blockbuster. The first two films were super cheesy, but for some reason hooked me from the beginning. Finally, the Incredible Hulk re-emerges this summer. I didn’t realize there was a need to remake the remake, and from the look of the trailer, that franchise likes to get kicked when it’s down. Who know maybe it will surprise me.

Other sequels coming out this summer that aren’t worth mentioning - The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 and Hellboy 2. I’m not going to waste theoretical ink talking about them.

That's Hot

I've had a 102 degree temperature for the last two days. So I'm taking sick leave from blogging.

Loser!

The Biggest Loser has to be one of the most inspirational TV shows out there. I know, I know, Temptation Island is a close second, but I have to give the edge to Loser. I typically don’t watch the entire season; mainly because most of the episodes are two hours long. However, I do make time in my schedule to sit through the entire finale episode, which aired last night. And once again, inspiration spewed from my television.

Not only did Loser crown their first female winner, they also gave a prize to the contestant that lost the most body weight (by percentage) since being kicked off the show. Both winners shed nearly 50% of their body mass, 50%! Can you imagine losing half your body weight? In most cases, the contestants lost more than Nicole Richie weighs. It’s amazing how much these people change their lives over the course of 16 weeks.

I’m by no means overweight, but I’m not exactly where I would like to be. After watching the show I was ready to take on the world. I didn’t even know what I needed to do, but I knew I could do it better if I put my mind to it. The Biggest Loser is the only show on television where all of the contestants are winners. Kudos to that. Now drop down and give me 20!

This is my 62nd Post!

I'm not mocking my good friend Eric. I'm actually just bitter because I had to start over because I didn't like the address of my old blog. Sad faces for me. Happy faces for Eric.

A dose of Bill Gate's tough love.

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. I love it when someone takes a stand to de-wimp our kids. I recently read articles where parents wanted to eliminate honor rolls and all star teams because they make some kids feel like they’re not good enough. The fact of the matter is that some kids aren’t good enough, and they turn into adults that aren’t good enough. Competition is what drives our society and keeps technology moving forward. The harsh truth about the real world is that if you can’t keep up, you will be left behind. Taking these lessons out of our schools is why more and more 30-year-olds are living with their parents still. Let’s take a look at Bill’s words of wisdom.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

American Suckhole.

I’m all for reality TV. Even the crappy ones can kill an hour of my time on a Saturday morning, but I just can’t get on board with American Idol. It annoys me to no end. Every morning when Yahoo graces my computer screen, I see the latest American Idol news; every single day. Is this really news?

I know we live in a 24-hours a day, 7-days a week, 52-weeks a year news era, but give me a break. The show is already on TV for two-hours a day, three-days a week. Do I really have to read about it every morning as well?

I understand Fox’s need to shove this televised Karaoke contest down our throats. It’s their big ticket rating getter. I just wish it was a better show. Yes, we know that Paula is a crack head, Simon loves rubbing his man boobs, and Randy likes to use the word “dog,” but I need a little more then that to hold my attention. Perhaps I just can’t stand the fact that every season produces a winner that proceeds to record a ridiculously lame album that bombs on the charts. Seriously…we take 6 months canvassing the country for an “artist” that can publically make a crappy album. Sweet! I’m pretty sure I could do the same thing in a week. Maybe we should have American Architect next. We can find America’s favorite architect, have them design a wildly popular looking house, and then laugh as that house crashes down on its occupants. It would be great TV. Alright Fox, let’s make this happen.

Wisdom Schmisdom (2).

I think the best lessons learned are from those who don’t realize they’re teaching. I can still remember the day I realized that just because I’m wrong, doesn’t make you right. And just because I’m right, doesn’t make you wrong. This is a good lesson.

Oh yes, There Will Be Blood.

There will be blood follows the life of Daniel Plainview as he sacrifices his sanity in order to find success. His is a story that’s been told numerous times through many different mediums. We all can relate to these challenges even if we deny it. We’re all good and we’re all bad. We’re all sinners, even those who preach their purity on a daily basis. The point is that this movie is not for everybody. In fact, many people won’t find it engaging at all. However, it is about everybody. Whether you admit it or not, Daniel is me, and Daniel is you. It’s in our nature. The question is not “if” you will fail yourself, but how you handle yourself after you do.

That being said, I did enjoy this movie. As Eric so keenly pointed out, it definitely follows the pacing of a novel, but not at the price of the story. The cinematography was always moving. Even when the shots were static, they were moving the story forward. And the acting was definitely upper tier. Eric also stated that unlike a QuentinTarantino movie where you get punched in the face until you fall down, There Will Be Blood is like a starring contest in which your knees buckle by the sheer will of Paul Thomas Anderson's glare. I, however, think it’s somewhere in between. It’s more of a slapping contest – perhaps because everyone in the movie get’s their fair share of open handed love.

So the question is do I recommend this movie, and the answer is no. It’s just not for most people. Yes, I liked it, but I don’t think the majority will. It’s not because I think I’m smarter than everyone else, or that I’m more philosophical. It’s actually because most movie goers like to be entertained as apposed to being reminded of “mans inhumanity towards man.” ;) Yes, I just used the semicolon wink…sue me. It’s a film lovers dream, and a movie watchers nightmare. If you’re somewhere in between, then give it a chance. At lease by the end of it, you’ll know what category you fall into.

I apologize if this blog sounds pretentious. I would dumb it down if I could, but my brain is growing uncontrollably fast these days. ;) Yep, there it is again.

Wisdom Schmisdom.

If given the choice of a high-five or a hand shake, I would choose the high-five. But then again I also give the mini salute goodbye as apposed to the wave. It hard being this cool, but somehow I manage.

A Lucas says what?

There’s compromise in everyday. Life is full of pushes and pulls, and I’m okay with that.

Left Behind.

With Tiger Woods making like a gazillion dollars a year in advertising and endorsement deals, it’s easy to look past “Old Lefty.” Phil Michelson has been quietly raking in endorsements as his popularity continues to increase. Last year he made over $47 million dollars in non-purse revenues, which is still a far cry from Tiger’s $100 million, but not that shabby.

So why can’t I get behind this guy. He’s middle-aged, married, and has a kid. He loves the game of golf, and has a competitive drive. Yet, I want him to get squashed like a bug. It’s not entirely fair. I would like to say it’s because he has a bad attitude and curses on the links, but Tiger can be just as, if not more, explosive when something goes wrong. Then I thought that maybe it was because he wasn’t good under pressure, which shows an innate weakness in character, but the guy has made some amazing shots over his career. Not to mention, Tiger doesn’t have the best record when faced with a final round comeback.

This left me with one conclusion. Just like George Bush doesn’t like black people (or maybe he just doesn’t like Kanye West), I don’t like lefties. Using your left hand for everyday tasks isn’t natural. What’s next, are some people going to start using only one eye, or maybe babies will be born with two faces. The whole thing is ludicrous. Sorry Phil, my dislike for you was preordained. You should have never starting digging into your Gerber baby food with your left hand; you should have forced yourself to write your name with your right hand – like the rest of us normal people.

It’s too bad though. Now that I realized I have a left hand prejudice, I have to figure out if I still like my brother. That’s right; one of my own blood relatives is a lefty. I’ve been tainted by south-pawism. It’s a shame I must live with. Oh well, go get ‘em Tiger.

You've got a little MySpace on your Facebook.

I’ve had a facebook account for about six months now. Why? I couldn’t really tell you because I don’t remember the last time I actually logged into it. I think I jumped on to the band wagon when it wasn’t cool to have a MySpace page anymore if you were older than 24, or some arbitrary age like that. It’s not that I really care about how mature I look in the online world; I just don’t want to look young and immature. Not to mention I’m a hypocrite.

Anyway, back to the point. A coworker told me that I should get back on facebook, so I did that day. I think I did it so quickly because I have no backbone and can’t make decisions for myself; I’ll have to ask my wife to see if this is the case. Regardless, I found that it’s quite boring. There’s not a lot to do, and what I could do, I thought was a little lame. You can play games with people online, which is pretty cool, but overall, I felt underwhelmed. I’m going to give it another chance to see if I can’t spice my page up a little bit and inject a more of my personality into my profile, or maybe I’ll just take more time to actually learn what all of the functions do.

In the end, I can’t quite figure out if I’m too old for these type of social networks, or if I only want to be a part of one that allows me to search all of the 21-year-old lesbians in my area that might have been able to sneak some naked photos into their profile.

I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, and I Do

I copied this text directly from MSNBC so that it’s not affected by my personal biases.

“A polygamous community in Texas that follows the teaching of The Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints practices pedophilia, torture and child abuse under the guise of a religion, according to a woman who escaped the sect with her eight children five years ago.
Police removed 401 children and 133 women from the compound on warrants issued by a judge, who deemed them to be under imminent danger of physical abuse.”

I’m not going to touch this one with any sized pole, 10-foot or otherwise. Instead, at the request of Mr. Eric Strahl I punched someone in the face and then raged against the machine.

Free Tibet...Protesters.

The hell with an overpass on I-5; when you want to make a statement you might as well go big or go home…or go to jail. Three protesters scaled the Golden Gate Bridge on Monday and hung banners that read “One World, One Dream, Free Tibet.” These activists are part of a group known as Students for a Free Tibet. Seven total protesters were hauled to jail and charged with misdemeanor trespassing, nuisance, and felony conspiracy.

Upon hearing about the act of protest the Chinese government promptly diminished the sentences of their protesters, which set them free. They also drew up a treaty that allows Tibet to act as their own entity and finally be a free nation. No, just kidding. They actually kicked a couple of puppies, gassed some butterflies, and randomly shot people in the streets. Why, because their China, they don’t care, and they don’t like puppies.

The good news is that those who scaled the bridge now know that they’re good climbers. Rock climbing 101 really paid off! And they got their 15 minutes of fame, which means we don’t have to hear about them ever again. Hooray. They can also take solace in knowing they won’t get 3 ½ years in prison. Instead, they’ll probably get community service and timed served.

Unfortunately, the Olympic torch is just now coming to the States, so expect more delays caused by protesters followed by more injured puppies in China. Oh well, I guess someone has to try to make a difference.

Hey! Quit Being Two-Faced...Oh, My Bad.

An Indian baby was born with two faces, e.g., four eyes, two noses, and two mouths. She’s being worshiped as a reincarnation of a Hindu goddess. I haven’t decided if it’s amazing or just amazingly creepy. No wait, I just decided; it’s amazingly creepy.

I’m not sure if both faces function correctly, and I don’t think that either instance would be beneficial. I guess if there were one place for this to happen and it is a good thing, it would be India where at least she resembles a goddess. I know that if it was your baby you would love it regardless, but I’m also pretty sure no one would ask for this to happen. I can’t even imagine the repercussions of this as she grows older. Have you ever tried talking to someone with a lazy eye? Yeah, I know, it’s a little awkward. Imagine trying to talk to someone with a lazy face.

A Man's Man.

American icon Charlton Heston died this weekend at the age of 84. The Oscar winning actor dominated the silver screen in films like Ben Hur and Planet of the Apes. He gave us the line “Soylent Green is people! People!” and “Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape.” But some his most memorable work came later on in his life when he became the championing voice of the NRA. Now, those promoting gun control might actually get Heston’s gun.

Heston was as stoic as they come, both on and off the screen. Of course, he also never shied away from controversy. He never apologized for his stance on issues and that has to be commended. Omega Man, I salute you. Thanks for being a man’s man, whether it was right or wrong.

Hmmm.

Do you remember when people were trying to promote random acts of kindness? does not punching someone in the face count?

The Color Red

A Chinese man was sentenced to three and a half years in prison for speaking out against communism. That is the reality of the world we live in. I know I’ve been a little soap boxy lately, but when you really start paying attention to what’s going on, it’s hard not to be affected. A story like this is easy to pass off as just being unfortunate because we’re not directly touched by the situation, so I’m asking you to seriously take two full minutes and think about it. Really put yourself in his shoes.

A man that was unhappy with his government made remarks in protest fashion, and was jailed for 3 ½ years. For 42 months he will be behind bars. He won’t see his home for 2,184 weeks. He can’t be with his family for 15,288 days; all because he tried to make a difference. He spoke up. He didn’t damage property. He didn’t physically harm anyone. He didn’t threaten anyone. You can get less prison time in America for killing someone.

So the next time you are talking about politics, and you have something negative to say, don’t let that moment pass without effect. Cherish your right to have freedoms because not everyone has that chance. It’s easy to say that they can relocate, or they can change their government, but the fact of the matter is that change is hard to come by. It’s not immediate, and it comes at a price. So what are you going to do for the next 3 ½ years. Think about your plans, not the idea of having plans, but everything you would miss on a day to day basis if they were ripped from you. Take two full minutes and just think about it.

Unexpected Nostalgia

I caught the end of the Yankees game today, and it made me realize a couple of things. The first is that I miss NYC. I don’t miss all of Manhattan, only the good parts. It’s easy to forget the nasty humidity, the 30 mph winds, and more reggaetone I could really handle. It’s also easy to forget the 95 degree August days. Those were the ones when you got steamed alive in the subways, and came out smelling like B.O. and piss.

It’s nice to know that most of those memories are overpowered by the good ones. New York City is where I went to my first baseball game. A lot of people like the Yankees because they’re a powerhouse and a safe bet, but Yankee stadium is where I had my first real ball park frank and $9 Bud Light. No matter how much you might dislike the evil empire, it's hard to root against the Yankees in "the house that Ruth built." Of course, Malinda and I picked two of the only spring games to have hour plus rain delays, but we didn’t mind. It was love at first sight anyways, and I wouldn't change it for the world.

NYC is also where my baby was born, and I was introduced to the emasculating effects of being a housewife. Fortunately, we had the Yankee Entertainment Sports network in HD, which allowed me to watch nearly all of their games with Sophia in my lap. At the time there wasn’t anything more relaxing then settling into my recliner with a beer in one hand and the remote in the other, knowing the only thing I had to worry about over the next couple of hours was whether or not Robinson Cano was going to grow into a clutch player. Well, that and making sure Sophia had a dry diaper and a full bottle. I think she might be a Yankee fan without even knowing it.

It’s those unexpected moments of nostalgia that really make me appreciate the past couple of years of my life. It’s easy to complain about money and work stresses, but I always remember how much it was worth it. It’s a good feeling. Like the feeling you get when you realize that the good memories will eventually overpower the bad ones.

I Will Lead You!

Directly from the Associated Press “Independent truckers around the country pulled their rigs off the road and others slowed to a crawl on major highways in a loosely organized protest of high fuel prices.” See, I didn’t need to paint signs or stand on overpasses. They must have read my blog and decided to take action. Man, I’m such a leader.

Does This Make Me An Activist?

The top executives of the five major oil companies admitted to knowing that rising gas prices are causing a great deal of strain on the American public. Of course they ended their statements by deflecting any blame, citing that their profits of $123 billion last year were right in line with other industries.

It’s awesome to know that despite research showing that our supply of both gas and oil are adequate, the price per barrel and per gallon keep rising. All while the oil companies continue to profit. I understand that according to the Dow Jones Industrial Average, their profits are only a little higher that most companies on cents per dollar of sales. But my first question is “does this really take into account the sure volume of sales they make each year?” If I only earn 2 cents more on the dollar than you do, but have a billion more dollars in sales every year, still equates to a lot of cents.

I’m pretty sure Hitler used similar logic when trying to exterminate half of the world. It’s just more proof that you can look at any situation from a certain light to make it look favorable. Besides, the fact that other industries rake in similar profits doesn’t fly in my book. Other industries don’t twist our arms into using their products. Sure, you can argue that we don’t really need oil. Make that point, but then try living without it for one day. The alternatives are limited at best. Even when we didn’t have computers, TVs, the Internet, and cell phones, we still depended on oil. You can argue that oil has been the one constant thorn in our dependency’s side since the industrial age.

I’m not going to finger paint a sign that says “Honk for no more oil” and stand on a bridge, but we do need to figure out a solution. The more we let any industry rake us over the coals, the less control we’ll have in the end. We need competitive alternatives and true free market competition. Not these perceived scenarios pushed on us by Hitler and his crew.

April What?

The obligatory April fool’s day has arrived. A day I usually think about far in advance. A day I can get away with being mischievous and chalk it up to good old fashion tradition. A day you can tell people exactly how you feel, no matter how cutting it may be, and end it by clearing the air with “April Fools.” With all of this potential waiting in the wings, I actually forgot all about it. This was one of the first years I was actually consumed by deadlines at work, environmental factors, and other grown up stuff. And I have to tell ya, it kind of bums me out.

Apparently Internet searches on how to best your coworker is up 40%. I suppose with the seriousness of the national agenda, we’re all looking for a little comic relief. Perhaps it’s when you’re under the most pressure that you should break free of the stress and add a little comedy to your life; at the expense of others of course.

Work, you are now delegated to the back seat. $50,000 client deals play second fiddle to today’s tomfoolery. A paycheck can wait. There are laughs to be had, knees to be slapped, and tears of resentful joy to be felled. Today is an immature man’s Christmas, and I plan on celebrating. The day is young. I may have my fun yet. I guess we will just have to wait and see.