Friday, May 02, 2008

Tom Cruise – Insert punch line here –

In an interview with Oprah, Tom Cruise said that he wouldn’t take back the couch jumping fiasco that started his downward media spiral three years ago. In a non-related story, Steve Bartman was overheard mentioning that he will continue to try to catch every foul ball at Cub’s games, Mike Tyson claims he doesn’t regret biting off Holyfield’s ear, and the Japanese would still bomb Pearl Harbor even if we rewound time. Oh, and did I mention Bill Clinton feels no remorse about the blue dress incident. Okay, that last one actually is true, but you didn’t hear it from me.

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