Jackassalope

The Worst, Ever!

Having recently seen “The Happening” at my local McMenamen’s Movie Theater and Pub, I’ve come to the conclusion that (A) movie theaters inside of bars are the coolest thing ever. Not only can you drink there, but it’s encouraged. And let’s not forget a movie is only $3; and (B) M. Night Shyamalan is the worst director of the last decade.

What makes it worse is that he had two lucky goes at movie making with “The Sixth Sense” and “Unbreakable” but everything else he’s touched since, has sucked. Shyamalong-a-dingdong hasn’t directed a movie worth watching for years, and “The Happening” is no different.

The actors gave shallow performances; there’s more depth in my daughter’s kiddy pool. And the script took an interesting idea and turned it into a SciFi made for TV crap-fest. At one point, I actually recited two minutes of dialogue before the words came out of the actor’s mouths; that’s how predictable the script was. And Mark Wahlberg hasn’t given a performance that amateurish since “The Big Hit.” Oddly enough, Wahlberg is quoted saying that the choices Shyamalan was having him make went against an actor’s natural tendencies. Well done, M. Night. Way to prove that a bad director can overshadow capable actors.

I vow to never again subject myself to another one of Shyamalong-a-dingdong’s movies; if you can actually call them that. I’m actually pissed that with the money he wasted making “Lady in the Water” and this recent yawner, some other movie didn’t get funded. If I ever see M. Night in person I’m going to kick him in the balls and say “It doesn’t feel so good, does it?” because that’s how I felt last night.

By the way. "The Dark Knight" was pretty kick-ass; great performance my Ledger, awesome action, and a fun ride. The script was a little plot heavy, Batman's voice is still too grizzled, but I enjoyed it despite the hype-trap.