Pass the Popcorn: Crazy Heart

Jeff Bridges as the Johnny Cash-eque lead character is broken but not hopeless in this slow roller. The supporting cast also delivers nicely. Anytime a movie takes me into the world of cowboys with demons I can't help but think of my grandpa who passed away some years back. He lived a hard life, but one I look back on with positive memories. So Crazy Heart probably affected me a little more than the normal viewer.

Lost!?* (Spoiler Alert) I think.

I watched the first episode of Lost six years ago and the second half of the last episode. I don't feel like I missed out on much. 

After watching the pilot and hearing the rumblings of fans, I was pretty sure the whole ordeal would be a purgatory situation where everyone had to tackle their demons in order to move on. I think I was right. Of course, I missed a lot of the middle there, so I can't be sure. Then again, I don't know if the dedicated viewers can even be sure.

Luck of the Irish

Most NBA fans counted the Celtics out  going into the playoffs. And righfully so. They hobbled to the finish, losing 7 of their last 10 games. Not the way you want to charge into the post season. But their aging vetrans discovered the fountain of youth while Rondo fully came into his own. Now it's hard not to call the Celtics the favorite going forward.

I bet a 22-ounce microbrew that the Celtics would beat the Magic, and I'm looking forward to cashing in. Of course, like everyone else, I wasn't confident with my pick. I just knew that if Orlando's role players went cold, the men in green had a great chance. And that's exactly what happened.

I"m embracing my one shining moment and hoping they don't completely fold from here on out - I would hate to have to take the blame for a late season jinx. So let's go green. Oh yeah, I also hope the Lakers get whooped.

Will it happen to me?

Yahoo featured an article that gives you 15 clues you may be heading towards a divorce. The one they left off: If you're reading an article hoping it will tell you whether or not you might be heading for divorce.

Nike Touts Best Ad Ever?

 Nope. Wrong. It's got some great moments, but the casual fan gets lost in the storyline. A great ad captivates, motivates, and grips the core, enrolls the casual, and inspires the fringe. The specific athlete stories in this ad don't translate to those beyond the core. It would have more impact if were broken up into three or four separate pieces and run as individual spots in a campaign. The casual and fringe consumers wouldn't get as confused but still get wrapped up in the action. It's a montage of cliche soccer scenes mixed with too many stories. Good but not great.

Facebook is the Matrix

Forget about A.I. robots and being plugged into giant machines. Facebook is the one that will rule our existence. In recent months, Facebook has started linking to our likes and dislikes. It asks us what we want to consume so advertisers can target psychographics better. But in reality, Facebook is studying us. Finding out our strengths and weaknesses. Observing. Preparing.

Today I read that Facebook currency holds legitimacy in the world market. That's right. Facebook has essentially created a currency that handles exchange rates at checkout so your 3 credits work the same in any country. It's possible this could catch on.

Sure, it sounds smart. But is it too smart? Facebook is standardizing our money, becoming the standard for currency across the globe. Observing our spending habits, studying, preparing, plotting.

The movies had it wrong. It's won't be a giant robot that takes over the human race. It will be Facebook. Like or be exterminated...

So How's the Weather?

Portland weather sucks. Everyone that lives here says, "yeah, but wait until summer. Those months make all the rain worth it." That, my friends, is bullsh**. I've never been around so much rain in my entire life. It's like a black hole of suck. Rain, then a little bit of sun, and then more rain.

Last year was just a tease. We actually had a spring. It sucked me in and then sucked the life out of me. Like those damn vampires in Twilight. That's why they filmed those crap-ass movies in the Northwest. They saw the connection. The weather and vampires just sucking the life out of people.

It's too bad. Portland is such a cool town. The weather just sucks. Portland needs to move. That would be cool. If Portland moved, I would follow it. Unless it moved to Washington.

Who Ya Gonna Call?

Great idea. Okay execution. Disappointed no one got slimed.

iPhony

Yahoo asked 'why the iPhone does so well without being the best'. The answer is simple. Tech consumers have a hard-on for Apple. Simple as that. Ask anybody in the creative industry what kind of computer they have and they'll scoff at you like that shouldn't even be a question. Of course it's a MacBook Pro. Of course they have an iPhone. Of course their iPad is being shipped today. The creative industry is dog loyal to apple and they're not afraid to admit it. And since it's a creative's job to recognize trends, market goods, and design ads, they've become pretty convincing brand ambassadors in their personal lives. They sell in everyone they meet and Apple cashes the checks.

The folks making the new Windows ads probably cringe as they concept and edit their commercials on Macs; secretly planting subliminal messages that counter-sell Apple to the unsuspecting public. It's a skinny jean conspiracy that won't end until Steve Jobs rules the world.

So do I have an iPhone and a MacBook? No. Do I want one? Of course I do. I work for an advertising agency. It would be blasphemy for me to think otherwise. At least that's what my creative director tells me everyday as I check my email on my Droid. Hey, back off! I can't get good reception with AT&T at my house. Now if you'll excuse me, I think my computer is about to crash.

Good but a bit Nutty

I just had a conversation with my boss that led down the path of ridiculously priced things. Then I remembered this gem. The world's most expensive coffee comes from Indonesia and sells for roughly $50 a cup. But why is it so pricey? Because it's hard to come by. Oh, and it's made from partially digested coffee beans that are picked out of palm civet poop. Could be a monkey. Maybe it's a weasel. Kind of looks like a cat. Regardless, it's got some tasty poop.

Kopi Luwak sells this stuff for $600 a pound but at least you get this cool box to put it in.

The poop coffee makes me think of all the other things that I could make more expensive by digesting. Maybe diamonds taken from celebrity excrement. The possibilities are endless.

What's Up, Bra!

Joel McHale of The Soup and NBC's Community is a funny dude who's obviously taken his role as the suave community college funnyman seriously. Wow, that was a lot of adjectives. Since landing the role, he's gotten increasinly ripped. Not that I try to pay attention to that sort of thing, but let's be honest; the dude has his shirt off in every episode. He is now creepily buff and looks like he's sporting man boobs. Buff man boobs, but man boobs nonetheless.

Joel McHale, I like the funny but lay off the bench press. Your pecks are taking over and it's creeping me out.

Pass the Popcorn: Couples Retreat

I heard bad review after bad review regarding this movie but a couple of my friends said, "Give a go. It's actually pretty good." So I did. And I regret that now. What starts off as a promising storyline turns into a mediocre  yawner halfway through. Every actor in Couples Retreat is more talented than this movie offers. Yes, there are a couple of funny moments in the first half, but the forced second and third act leave you wondering when it's going to end not how it's going to end. And that's never a good thing.

Vince Vaughn's quick banter is good - but nothing you can't get from any one of his other films. And Jon Favreau's portrayal of an out of shape jock is lack luster at best. They made magic in Swingers but here, only yawns. Grown up humor or not, this movie sucks and I want my two hours back.

P90XXX

Day 10 and things are going good. I haven't really skipped any days. It's a little challenging getting the kids going in the morning while working out, but if I can listen to my iPod, watch Sports Center, and flip through a magazine at the same time, then the morning routine should be no problem.

So am I seeing results? Actually, yes. Nothing dramatic but it feels good. The one thing that I do notice is all of the porn star faces the X crew makes during workouts. Not that I know what a porn star's face looks like. The chick in the chest and back workout, in particular, goes old school with her O face. She even looks like she could be found in an 80s German porn flick. It creeps me out every time. I never knew shoulder circles could be so pleasing for the ladies. Now if I could just get my wife to realize that.

New Shoes, Maybe

I've been needing a pair of new shoes for the last 4 months. My Saucony Courageous sneakers have been solid for almost a year, but it's time to move on. I'm just not sure what to get. I'm leaning towards the Nike Trainer Low but don't really want to spend that much. My biggest hurdle is that I don't wear different shoes everyday. I may have a couple of pairs, but I usually stick to one until they're completely worn out. So they have to work with jeans, shorts, on the trail, and on the town.

I'm supposed to be getting the hook up on some And1 Downtimes at work, but the gravy train is a little slow to the station this time. Pretty soon I'll have to break down and actually pay for something. Any recommends out there?

Wisdumb

Marriage is like insurance. You keep paying the premium to feel secure but chances are you probably won't ever get anything in return.

Upper Playground

If I was cooler, I would buy this Upper Playground Warsaw Houndstooth hoodie. I guess I would have to be less broke too. Details, details.

Flying Solo

The wife and kids are gone for the next couple of days. On the inside I vow to work late and hit the bar for some serious socializing. To be a man's man. To watch sports, play pool, and slap waitresses on the ass when they walk by.  To say things like, "Hey chickadee and what's it to ya."

Of course, I always end up going home and watching TV by myself instead. No matter how much I think I'm the second coming of the world's most interesting man, I know I'll end up passing on the Dos Equis for whatever's on tap. Not a lot of intrigue here. My 5 o'clock shadow doesn't adhere to daylight savings time. And I do have a feminine side, but I'm afraid to show it.

So here's to being a normal middle-aged dad. A hero in my own mind. Don Quixote's long lost cousin. The dude that's only on day 8 of P90X.

In short it looks like a dress

No one wants to go back to the short shorts of pre-2000s basketball. There's no reason a dude's balls should be exposed during any form of stretching. But the college basketball scene has taken the long shorts way too far. During the NCAA Tournament it was hard to ignore how many kids looked like they were wearing dresses out there. It actually amazed me they could move around in those things.

The NBA started down that road a couple of years ago but quickly pulled back to a much more manageable length, which seems to be mirrored by the High School teams. So can anybody tell be why there's this increase in inseam for the college kids?

Kimbo Suck

Street fighter "legend" Kimbo Slice finally proved that it doesn't matter how scary you look if you can actually fight. The UFC booted him this weekend after he lost again. I guess it doesn't matter how much bad-ass YouTube footage you have touting your talent; the octagon isn't a backyard fight club with your buddies.

Don't get me wrong, I would run away from this guy any day of the week. But I'm also not a UFC fighter. What's next for Slice? Maybe he should get some tips from Mr. T.

Keepin' it Real by the Pool

Best iPod Dock for the Money

Anyone who knows me knows I'm not a big spender. And usually that means I end up with a lot of cheap shit. But the iStereo is one of the best buys I've ever found...and it works really well. Most good iPod docks cost upwards of $100-$150 bucks; at least anything that has decent speakers in them. No joke, the iStereo is $25 at Walmart.

I've had mine for over a year now. The remote broke quickly, but the sound still rings true. For the price you can't go wrong.

Cleaning up the neighborhood!

So my neighbors have finally been evicted or the foreclosed on - whatever happened, they've been gone for the last couple of months. Regardless, they left their house trashed. The front door his half painted, the screens are mangled, and the lawn resembles the set of The Predator. Today, I grew sick of seeing it.

My first mission: Stealth lawn mowing. Okay, fine. I wasn't that stealthy. It was the middle of the day and people were all over the streets because the parade just ended. I mowed my planting strip and looked over at theirs. The weeds were laughing at me. And in Spanish too. I couldn't understand what it was saying, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't nice. So I emptied my mower bag, pinned my ears back, and blew through their planting strip too. Then I tackled their front yard. No one jumped me, so I'm pretty sure I'm in the clear.

Mission two: Repaint their jacked up red door. I think I have the same color paint in my garage. It would literally take me five minutes too do. I just don't know if it's legal. I think mission two requires a little more planning.

Day Three

The P90X dude is a major blow hard. He's not very motivating and loves to hear himself talk. I can see myself doing this on mute as soon as I get all of the rotations down.

That said, I also think these workouts are pretty sweet. They're have a good pace and you feel the burn by the end. The one thing I will say about Mr. X is that he does have a good mantra. All you have to do is try and success will follow. That's not verbatem, but you get the idea. Effort leads to motivation. Motivation leads to improvements. Improvements lead to results.

Pans Ho that was good (That's Oh Snap backwards). I should dance around in front of a camera and listen to myself talk. Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to Q90Y. Same workout, better host.

The Fridays :(

There's nothing worse that an unproductive Friday. They usually follow Thursdays that are jam packed with down to the wire gettin' it doneness. The days that require the come-from-behind creative brief rewrite minutes before the client arrives just to spend the rest of the day combing over the final product. Your minds all geared up. You're ready to rock'n roll. Then Friday rolls around and the energy's gone. For whatever reason, nobody's peering over your shoulder, counting down deadlines, or cracking whips. The clock becomes the enemy not for lack of time but for excess.

And so I wait...Try as I might to be motivated, to trudge forward alone and without direction, I end up sitting and waiting instead. Tic...Toc...Tic...Toc. Damn you Friday.

Before and Afters

I received the P90X series from a friend. Yup, the workout videos that a dude can do without feeling...you know, less than manly. Let's just say strip tease aerobics is more for viewing and less for doing. But I digress.

Getting back on track. You've seen the infomercials. Before P90X - Loser flabby pants. After P90X - Rock hard all-star. So I was a little excited. Gonna change my life and stuff. I got out my camera and took my before pictures. What a douche-baggy thing to do. I don't know why it is but it is. I felt like I was taking part in child porn - all sad faced with my shirt off.

Granted, since having kids I've softened up some. I didn't get fat, but I definitely lost my college definition. I was a damn model for crying out loud. And now I'm taking before pictures for P90X in my home office. Wow.

We'll see how it works. Check that - we'll see how I work. I'm the one that has to wake up at 6 a.m. to listen to some dude yell at me on TV, which wouldn't be bad if my kids would actually let me get some sleep at night. Bu that's an excuse and I'm done with those. After pictures, here I come.

...I'm only on day two by-the-way.

The New Me

I want to dig back into my sadistic self. I let it be for awhile but am getting bored with the result. This will be my fresh start to honesty.

Check out my latest work.

Pass the Popcorn: Milk

After my sister-in-law said that Gus Van Sant's Milk changed her life and made her cry for hours afterward, I had to give it a go. Cry I did not, and my life did not change. Sean Penn did an amazing job along with the high power supporting cast. It's a good movie but not life altering. Enjoy reading about the "Twinkie Defense" once it's over.

Pass the Popcorn: Movies I skipped in the past because I thought they would suck.

Open Water 2: Adrift - A-Suck. I knew it would. But I was bored, and it was worse.

College - Wow. Awful. I guess I went to the wrong college. I didn't realize so many girls had fake boobs and were willing to run around naked all the time.

W. - Better than I thought it would be. I'm not left or right, so my views on W aren't swayed by affiliation. I actually think Oliver Stone held back. Surprising.

Defendor - Pretty good but a little slow. The story was missing some needed momentum shifts, but the ending was in line with how I typically end screenplays. So I approve.

The iPad sales beat early iPhone sales

Well I would hope so. With the technology, interface, and expectations already proven by the iPhone, it only makes sense that the iPad would have a greater immediate success. It will be more impressive if it can prolong that success. Being a luxury item that goes beyond a cell phone but falls short of a laptop, makes it a more vulnerable. The real test will be at the 1 year mark (once the early adopters have all bought). Don't get me wrong, I still don't see it failing. I'm just not blown away by the early numbers.