Jackassalope

Erected Officials

New York’s governor, Eliot Spitzer, half-heartedly admitted to getting his democrat on with a high priced prostitute earlier this week. Officially he has only “been linked to a high-priced prostitution ring,” but hey, I have no problem connecting the dots. The irony is that he promoted himself vigorously as being “Mr. Clean” before getting elected into office. Unfortunately, it’s apparent he’s been polishing more than just floors (it’s almost too easy). Now he can only say that his actions, “violate(s) my obligations to my family and violates my — or any — sense of right and wrong. I apologize to the public, whom I promised better."

Not that Americans ever actually believe what politicians say (an unfortunate thought in its own right); this just puts the cherry on top – no pun intended. From Clinton saying “I did not have sexual relations with that woman,” to Gary Hart defying the press to dig up dirt on him during the 1987 Democratic nominations, I’d say politicians definitely like their sexy time, but they don’t like the rest of the world knowing about it. And who blames them? Every time we find out that an elected official is as stupid as we are, we can’t help but throw them under the bus.

I don’t condone cheating in any capacity, but can you imagine what would happen if every American who was caught with their hand in someone else’s cookie jar lost their job. Unemployment rates would rise by over 30%. Of course Spitzer didn’t just cheat. He took his bravado to a whole new level by actually paying for sex. No matter how popular HBO is, this isn’t Deadwood, and prostitution is still illegal. Sorry Spitz, but you’re too high on the totem pole to let this one slide. Did I just reference the Governor’s totem pole? My bad.