Monday, March 31, 2008

I’m Pessimistically Optimistic

I fear I’m turning into an optimist. I used to be one, but somewhere along the way all of that hope became despair. The peaceful easy feelings eventually became engulfed by the witchy woman. I still remember the day it was brought to my attention. One of my friends commented on my apparent disenchantment towards life. I was surprised at first, then defensive, but soon realized he was right, which in turn, made me sad. Yes, it’s a viscous cycle.

Recently, however, I’ve been put into several situations where I would normally jump onto the sorrow-time’s bandwagon, but instead I was full of hope. Hope! It was a weird feeling to have. I tried to reject it at first, but it grew stronger. I tried to ignore it, but the positive feelings kept creeping back. I even forced myself to be negative for days at a time, yet somehow when the Monday gloom set in, I was not affected. And wouldn’t you know it, by the end of the day, the sun was shining. It may be fleeting, but I will take it when I can get. Who knows, maybe it is here to stay.

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