Jackassalope

Comma,tation, Nation,

I guess I need to take more time to edit my own blogs because apparently I haven’t been using proper “commatation.” According to my ever vigilant wife, I have failed to include many necessary commas in my writing. She is both right and wrong. Naturally, commas are crucial to writing, but not every pause deserves punctuation. However, in most cases using a comma is correct.

For example, this sentence is correct: Therefore, this matter must be dealt with as quickly as possible.

This sentence is also correct: The board therefore voted unanimously in favor of the acquisition.

The difference is that in the second sentence, the word “therefore” doesn’t interrupt the thought. But it would be conceivable for someone to want to put a comma there because a short natural pause does occur. Commas are by far the most confusing form of punctuation, so out of defiance I limit my use of them.

I use the opposite theory when it comes to wine. Everyday there’s a new rule about how much vino is good for you. Some experts say a glass a day provides great antioxidants to your body, other say that two glasses a day in fine. So out of defiance, I drink a bottle at a time. Take that scientists! I’m chalk full of antioxidants whether it’s good or bad.

The bottom line is that in most cases a comma should be used with a pause. In fact, you can argue that I should have used a comma in that last sentence, but again, I chose not to because I didn’t think the phrase “in most cases” interrupted my thought. Screw this. Now I’m confused. And to think, I recently thought about going into teaching English.