Airborne lost a $23 million lawsuit last week due to making false claims. They have continually advertised their product as being the cure to the common cold, and as it turns out, it actually does nothing of the sort. And I have no problem saying, “I told you so.” It’s not that I think a school teacher lacks the wherewithal to create a product that can cure a virus, but I am saying that it’s highly unlikely.
So what did the courts have to say? According to recent studies, Airborne is nothing more than an expensive delivery system for vitamin C. The makers of Airborne originally submitted data claiming that during a test trial the vitamin supplement made a significant difference in curing the common cold, and if taken at the first signs of being sick, you could actually avoid the sniffles altogether. Let the back pedaling begin. As it turns out, the address where the trials were completed is nothing more than a little old lady’s house in Florida; Pans Ho (that’s Oh Snap backwards). Not to mention the creator of Airborne denies ever saying that it cures the cold virus. Poor form school teacher, poor form.
Don’t get me wrong, I think that vitamins can boost your immune system, but they can’t cure a cold, which is why I’ve always been a Negative Nancy when people swear by Airborne’s amazing healing powers. The good news is that all of you fools who wasted your money on the expensive vitamins can get it refunded as long as you have a receipt. And if you don’t have a receipt, you can still get up to six packages refunded.
9 comments:
Airborne works, sniffle, I just took two of them and I feel better already, cough cough uhhhh.
Hey, I just filed my refund on six packages of Airborne. Do you know what I am going to do with my winnings.... I am going to go buy six more packages of Airborne. I am the SMARTEST MAN ALIVE!!!!!!!
On a related note; Your body can only absorb ~ 200 mg of viatmin C before the levels in your blood balance out. I.E. You piss out that extra 800 mg per tablet.
Its cool with me, because my pee looks like yellow highlighter ink.
Neon yellow pee is almost as cool as green poop. Check that, it's actually cooler than green poop.
Hey Nancy boy, I will still buy Airborne, can you believe it? I can, I never recall reading that they claim to cure the common cold. I always took it with the idea that it was only an immunity booster, just like all the fools at Java Juice. Just the name Airborne suggests: boost your immune system now, before you "catch" a cold from air around you. Whether it be from a person on a plane, from a person on a train, from a tourist in Spain. Knowledge is power!
Of course you would Amber. I'll stick to my vitamins for 1/8 of the price.
I also didn't realize you were so powerless. Interesting.
I would like to congratulate you on bringing up such a provocative topic that it drew eight comments. You must have really touched a nerve in today's culture. And to think that I broke my original comment into two parts to bolster your comment ranking.
I do love chicken and white sauce. What can i say...
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