Jackassalope

Seconds Please!

An Italian mobster was released from jail and put on house arrest after guards deemed him too fat for his cell. That’s right; a 462-pound-man received his walking papers in Sicily because he couldn’t use the bathroom by himself and needed help getting dressed in the morning. I’m going to repeat this because it bears repeating. The precedent has been set that if you break the law in Italy, you can avoid jail time as long as you can break a scale as well. Instead of community service, they should sentence him to Jenny Craig service. I mean seriously, how ridiculous is it that you can get out of a prison term because you don’t know when to say when at the Home Town Buffet? Not that I’m planning a life of crime, but if I ever hatch an illegal venture, the first place I’m going is Italy. I’ll eat some cheese, drink some wine, and accept my get out of jail free card. Thank you modern day society for rewarding our criminals for not being healthy. McDonalds' everywhere are saluting you.